My partner just left me

[Round338]

We’d been together 5 years and he walked out on me because I found out he had accounts with only fans and many dating sites. I found messages on Snapchat where he was arranging to meet women for sex. He was sending photos to random girls, basically begging any female he came across. It made me feel sick. He confessed he checked out and doesn’t find me attractive since I had our toddler. He hasn’t wanted sex with me since before I was pregnant with our son. I feel heartbroken and betrayed. He could have left me any time without hurting me like this. My exes all left me because they checked out too, so clearly there is something wrong with me. I already have depression and possibly bpd. Now I feel so alone as I haven’t got any family, his family were my lifeline and now most of them have turned their back on me for no reason. How did you cope as a new single mum in early days/weeks? I’m fine financially and the house is mine so no concerns there, it’s more the mental and emotional side I’m struggling with.

There is nothing wrong with you, except that you have made some bad relationship choices if you’ve ended up with men who always check out. It’s not uncommon for people to make the same bad choices over and over again. We often have these things programmed into us from when we’re very young. But they are the problem, not you. You just have to figure out how to stop choosing them. But that’s for later on.

Rest assured, this man is scum and you are very very lucky to be rid of him. Find friends you can lean on. Get out as much as parenthood allows, or invite people over. Staying connected to healthy relationships is key.

Oh my dear. I am so so sorry that you’ve been on the receiving end of this idiot and more than one of them. It isn’t you. My ex checked out when I got pregnant and stupidly we stayed together with me desperately trying to make things work, getting lonelier and lonelier and sadder and sadder. This arsewipe has done you a favour even though it doesn’t feel like it right now. You are better off without him. The first weeks will be hard. Take each day as it comes. Concentrate on looking after yourself, eat even if you don’t feel hungry, drink plenty of water. Be kind to yourself. If he comes crawling back, deny him entry to your life. This will get easier. I promise 💐

This is your new chance at life, one which your the main character. You can have your home and your life filled with your decisions, your life. Not living it for some ungrateful prick.

promise within 2 weeks your gonna start feeling great. Personally when this happened to me I removed all social media off my phone, stopped drinking, got myself a dog, and me and my then 6&8 year olds built a new life, eventually moving slightly away for a fresh start.

you know there’s better out there for you than him. But even if that doesn’t come along. Your better than him.

he will come back soon, be ready to tell him to fuck off. Show him what he’s fucked up (I still do that now 7yrs on, I know what my exh did to his family is his biggest regret and the twangs of pain he gets now are nothing compared to those first few months of pain he put us all through. I smile, I kill him with kindness but him doing that to us was the biggest gift, me and my now teenagers couldn’t be happier). Promise you’ll start to see the light soon