Husband cheating

[Fiancee676]

I found out my husband sleeping with many women and men through our 7.5 year relationship married for 1 year. I have copies of some of the messages and numbers for some of the people. I can’t take out my anger on husband (kicked him out) as I want to be nice as pie so I don’t lose all my money in the divorce. Is there something petty I can do like contact their husbands or just something that won’t ruin my chances in the divorce. I’m FURIOUS

No. Move on

Best revenge is to not show him you are bothered. Any emotional ammunition you give him will very likely backfire, men like that are always the victim, no matter the evidence, they are always the victim.

Best thing you can do is gather your ducks in a row.

Its good to be angry, but also good to remember that whatever he chose to do has no reflection on who you are, it only shows his character while you hold onto your integrity.

I mean he won’t care if you tell their husbands. That hurts them not him. Bit pointless.

I don’t see why it would make any difference in the divorce either way though. There isn’t a clause where it says ”if you call me a rat bastard and tell my affair partners husbands about me, you get bugger all”.

I suppose it helps to keep him sweet. But realistically, good luck with that lol. Maybe if he’s still with his fancy women and it’s going ok you stand a chance as he might not care as much. But realistically, divorce takes a while…

Just try get a copy of what he earns and has. And have as little contact with him as possible. Everything through the solicitor.

As pp said, the best revenge is moving on and acting like you don’t give a fuck.

I wouldn't keep his secret.

"Oh sorry that you and X have split up" "I'm not, he was screwing around with men and women for years, I only just found out". Word will get out.

Who’s done what has no bearing on financial settlements
the best thing you can do for yourself is get this behind you asap

Book an STD test as soon as possible if you haven't already done so. I get you're understandably angry but don't do anything that could backfire on your when it comes to courts dealing with the divorce.

I want him to agree to all my terms in the divorce which would not be considered fair in court because I have about 200k more money than he does and I don’t want him to get half of it. That’s why I need to be nice as pie. I want him to just walk away with his 10k house deposit he has no savings. Obviously been spending his money on his various men and women !!! But at the same time I’m furious he has just gotten away with it

If you get a financial order (which you will need to to prevent any future claim) my understanding is it will need to be fair. We did a consent order but if the judge deemed either of us were missing out he wouldn’t approve. Get some legal advice.

Married one year, is a good starting point for not having to share money. Though may depend on how financially entangled you were in the longer duration of the relationship (7.5 years). Though a slightly more generous offer than the minimum (returning to the pre-marriage situation) might be a sensible tactic to speed things up.