Narcissistic parents who ignore their children

[Tinkerbell98]

Hi everyone I was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and can offer some advice. I have a narcissistic father who cut off contact with me and my children 2 years ago for no reason. He ignores our messages when we have tried to get in touch. I’m an only child and today is my 40th birthday. I knew he wouldn’t wish me a happy birthday but deep down I had hope that he possibly would. Does anyone have any tips on getting over the hurt of a parent not loving you or any insight on why they do this? As a mother myself I just don’t understand how a parent can not love their child. I was hoping to grow out of feeling like this but it always hurts and especially so on mine and my children’s birthdays. Thanks 🙏🏻

Happy Birthday 🎂

He does this because he can . Narcissistic people really do have no empathy for others.

Stop with trying to contact him. He is not worthy of you or your children s company.

You need to grieve for the relationship you should have had rather than the one you actually got. Your father has done you a favour by having no contact because that saves you the job of doing that . Narcissistic parents are deplorably bad as parents and more often than not remain toxic as grandparents too. Your children and you need radiators in your lives, not drains upon them.

Deal with any FOG you have ( fear obligation and guilt) through therapy and read Will I ever be good enough by Karyl McBride. Have a read too of the current Well
we took you to Stately Homes thread on these relationships pages.

Haven't seen in df since 1999. It really is his loss.
He has no idea how fab me and my dc are !
In fact he has no idea how many dc I have .
I hope his dw was worth walking away from us.
She will know deep down he should have dc /dgc around him.

Thank you so much

So sorry to hear that, thanks for your response

There are loads of accounts on Instagram that help a lot, ones like LetsGetYourShiftTogether, my mother my first bully, the joy edit, Ben cole Edwards etc.
Don't give him the attention of attempting to contact him, these aren't functional people, he's zero loss to you.

Thanks a lot I’ll take a look at those

This sounds awful and I don’t want to upset you but could it be that he may not be your biological father and you don’t know? Not that it excuses his behaviour even if he isn’t but it may be worth ruling out. A woman I worked with found out her dad wasn’t her dad after a genetics test on ancestry

Unfortunately he is we have the same blood type & are identical lol I wish he wasn’t though