I met a friend a couple of years ago through a local online Mum's network.
She disclosed she had some significant mental health problems, which caused her to give up work and move onto disability benefits shortly before her daughter was born.
I was very sympathetic to this, and that some mental health conditions can impact how you speak to people/ come across; but I'm beginning to suspect it is being used as an excuse to cover up her behaviour. For context, she doesn't seem to have issues moderating her behaviour around other , more outspoken mum's.
She reguarly introduces me to strangers we meet on days out as the "quiet, soically awkward one " in the group, which is obviously embarrassing , and I'm not convinced entirely true, ( I've spoken to several friends not connected to this woman , who say whilst I am non confrontational, I do not cone across as quiet and soically awkward at all). Also even if your friend was "soically awkward," why would you humiliate them by continuously saying that to strangers in front of them?!
I was selected to give a speech abroad at a University for work , she messaged to ask how it went, and when I said it went well, she replied " that's a suprise, as you don't look like you could speak to more than 3 people at the same time."
She also publicly took the piss out of how I walked at a mutual friend's baby shower a couple of weeks ago, despite knowing I have a longstanding knee issue and have very recently had knee surgery.
She reguarly tells both my sons off, ( age. 4 and 5), for very minor misbehaviour in front of me, e.g she told my son she wasn't like me and wouldn't take his "shit" when he didn't want to eat his lunch on a day out - it was a new food he had never tried before). She also took it upon herself to tell him he wouldn't be allowed on the rides unless he ate it ...
There have been issues with mutual, non-confrontational friend's having issues with her behaviour too.
On a day out she started boasting about how she had the "best banter " out of all of us, and started calling another very quiet mixed race woman with us a very derogatory racial slur as a "joke" , whilst boasting this proved she had the "best banter" . I regret not saying something at the time, but it was very hard when it is all under the guise of it being a joke / her having the "best" banter, but others members of the public were staring at us in annoyance and disbelief, and it was embarassing.
An acquantance also cut her off after she went to a christmas fete with her, and her 7 year old son, ( who has diagnosed SEN) started tantrumning when it was time to leave . She said loudly , " Oh yes, Thomas* you are tantrumning because Mummy never communicates with you and explains its the end of the day does she." The acquantance cut her off then and told me why ....
My issue is she doesn't seem to have these incidents with people who are more likely to say something to her.
She's also made quite a few comments about weight, and there was an incident that happenned on her birthday night out I'm really uncomfortable with. We are both mid twenties, and in the club there was a girl who looked no older than 18 or 19, presented as very vulnerable and having some additional needs, and was very overweight and dressed in obviously unfashionable clothes. She secretly took a photo and uploaded it to multiple group chats we are in to laugh at how "fat, spotty and ugly" this young girl was. It made me very uncomfortable to be secretly taking photos of what looked like a very vulnerable 18 year old stranger to laugh at her, when she was about 8 years younger than us, ( i was also concerned by the behaviour of men in the club that night towards the 18 year old).
The thing is confronting her would end badly, I am very stressed with my own issues, but im beginning to rhink its not just mental health, when other louder people don't get these put downs.