Sugar cravings are making me a worse partner and I’m stuck in the same cycle every night

[SunnyMauveUser]

Man here, hope that’s OK. I’ve read a lot on here and wanted a real perspective.
I train most mornings and eat well all day. Then after dinner, the craving for something sweet kicks in and I genuinely can’t think about anything else until I’ve had it. So I give in. Then it’s a bit more. Then I crash.

The rest of the evening I’m basically not there. I’m half asleep on the sofa, I’m not thinking about plans or dates or anything for us, and I’m not picking up on how my girlfriend’s feeling. That’s meant to be our time together after work and I’m checked out. One evening I misread a situation and started an argument over it, and had to apologise.

Then I feel rubbish, tell myself tomorrow will be different, and the next evening it happens again. I’m training hard and still putting weight on too.
I grew up with divorced parents, so having a healthy relationship really matters to me, and I don’t want something this small to get in the way. I think she’s started to notice I’m planning less.

Is anyone else stuck in this right now, or living with a partner who is? How does it play out in your evenings?

you obviously haven't got your carb, fats, protein balance right throughout the day. Try a Greek yoghurt, cottage cheese with blueberries or orange fruit bowl of an evening instead of sugary stuff.
Re look at your TDEE and calories deficit vis a vis your exercise and calorie intake. Weight gain could be muscle mass but if you're in a calorie deficit of say 500 cals per days your losing fat but gaining muscle.

How much sugar are you eating? Sounds like you’re binging if it’s making you crash out. As pp has said you need to get your diet right the rest of the day that will definitely help. I need something sweet after every meal, doesn’t have to be much though. Could be dates, fun size choc, dark chocolate, a yoghurt. Having sweet stuff shouldn't end in you checking out for the evening, unless your having an awful lot of it.

I’m the same so following with interest. I have a chocolate problem and always give in after the kids are in bed. I need to stop. I don’t smoke/vape, I exercise and otherwise eat really healthily so I can’t decide if it’s an issue that needs solving or just a small vice that everyone is entitled to.

Yes how much sugar are you having for it to have this drastic an effect? A couple of chocolate bars or packets of sweets, while not the healthiest choice shouldn't render an otherwise healthy adult comatose, how is your mood and energy if you do manage to avoid sweets? Are you healthy otherwise, are you sleeping well? How early in the evening does the crash come, if you're getting up at 5am to train then working all day it's not surprising if you're knackered by 9pm, but if that's the case and it's negatively impacting your relationship you might need to rethink your training schedule, is it necessary to train every day, not saying to stop altogether but if you replaced a morning gym with an evening walk with your girlfriend a couple of nights a week that would hit a number of points, time together, still getting exercise, time outdoors which is great for your mood albeit as we head into winter the dark evenings do make it harder.

Plus as others have said if you're consistently hungry in the evenings it will be a sign you're not eating enough in the daytime, it's the opposite problem to what many MNetters have but if you're actively trying to gain weight it's actually hard to get sufficient calories in, you need to be very intentional about it same as for weight loss. Also it's hard when you're in a relationship because even if a man and a woman are training equally hard the man's calorie requirement will likely be higher than the woman's, but obviously you want to eat dinner together and not obviously have twice as much food as her, but I wonder if you're undereating at dinner compared to her. What sort of things do you usually eat and are there ways to add more in especially protein and fibre (many gym goers get plenty of the former but can neglect the latter but it is very important for satiety) - do you eat enough carb and fruit/veg or is it all lean protein? Protein is great and obviously necessary for muscle growth but if you neglect the carbs whilst exercising hard you are much more likely to experience crashes and cravings as you're just not fuelling appropriately for the amount you're asking your body to do...

Are you sure that at least part of the crashing out etc is not that you are just tired from training?

I find the best way to rid sugar cravings is to completely avoid sugar. Don’t buy it & get rid of anything that contains sugar that you have in the house. It’s best to avoid using artificial sweeteners as well.

It sounds as if you’ve got into a habit in the evenings. Do something different instead to break the habit. It doesn’t have to be anything energetic - have a bath, read a book in a different room, do that diy that you’ve been avoiding. This will take your mind off food as well as break the pattern of: eat dinner, relax on sofa, think about eating something sweet. Explain to your partner & ask them to support you in your aim.

I agree with other posters about making sure your food intake during the day is enough to see you through the evening.

Lastly, when I was desperate for something sweet, I found licorice tea scratched that itch, without setting up a “eat sweet food/sugar spike/sugar slump/eat sweet food” cycle.

Have you had your blood sugars checked by your GP lately? I crave sugar when my diabetes isn't controlled well.... it may be worth a check.