Do you make fun of or feel sorry for someone who has no friends or very few friends?

[ForFairAzureSquid]

I'm curious how people see this.

I don’t have a big friend circle, just a few people. I’ve (33 M, single) had issues in the past with toxic friendships and bullying, and I’m naturally introverted. I actually like who I am now and I’m comfortable having only a couple of close friends. I’ve even started making a few new connections after joining CrossFit.

But something happened recently that bothered me.

I met up with a long-term friend(toxic), and he asked what I did over the weekend. I told him I met another friend (also someone I’ve known for years, but he doesn’t know him). He started giggling and said, “What friends?” Then he got judgmental, saying he never sees me with anyone and basically implying that I don’t have a social life.

He’s quite insecure and tends to put me down in front of others , I think it’s an ego thing, but it still made me feel like shit afterwards. He's does that often and also mock me for not having a girlfriend. He also makes fun of his sister for not having friends and mocks her for not kissing a boy.

It made me wonder:
Do people actually make fun of someone for having few friends, or feel sorry for them, without knowing their story?

Would you make fun of someone or your own friend for having less friends?

Would 100% not make fun of someone for lack of friends. To be honest it's hard to know how many friends people have anyway.

No, I wouldn't make fun of anyone for any reason to be honest. It's juvenile and unpleasant.

I might feel sorry for someone who was clearly expressing that they felt lonely and had no friends, but to assume that having just a few friends is somehow 'wrong' is daft.

I'd avoid your toxic friend in future. You recognise he made you feel shit, so don't bother with him any longer.

Also why would you let someone who doesn't value you decide your worth? He sounds dreadful, and not someone whose opinion is worth pursuing.

You sound nice.

Nah, he sounds like he's still at school. An insecure dick.

I think your ‘long term friend’ is not much of a friend. I’m glad you realise he’s toxic. I’m not sure what kind of person would make fun of someone for having few or no friends, but they’re definitely not a friend of yours if they do.

You do you - keep up with the cross fit if you enjoy it, spend time with whatever true friends you have and also enjoy your time with yourself. You seem like a thoughtful and self-aware person - and lots of people are like you, living their lives and not trumpeting about it. Hiding in plain sight, kindred spirits.

Some people put there down to make themselves feel better. This person is no friend to you. Why are you even friends with him. He’s been toxic before, so just cut him out your life.

He is unkind and insecure as you have correctly identified.
Im really pleased you are happy with who you are and that you have a couple of good friends. Nurture those.

I’m a generally outgoing, friendly person and would comfortably enter a room full of total strangers and strike up a conversation with any of them. All that said, I keep my circle of proper friends very tight (I can count them on one hand).

I’ve been part of a bigger friends group of all in our mid to late 40s, most of whom go back to primary/secondary school, for almost 20 years, but I’d still only class the majority of them as “mates” rather than “friends”.

It takes a lot for me to build up to opening up and trusting someone, so it isn’t something I do lightly and once you’re my friend, I’d walk through fire for you. After some bad experiences with friends during my teen years, I realised that not everyone has the same attitude to friendships, nor the same sense of loyalty, so as I've got older I’ve become pickier over who I let in fully, versus those I recognise as someone I can have a good laugh with, but wouldn’t trust with a secret.

@ForFairAzureSquid don’t worry about having a small circle, unless you have a burning desire to grow the number of friends you have. In my view, this is definitely one of the areas where quality beats quantity!

No, not at all. If you’ve got two good friends, you’re lucky.

He sounds like he’s still got a high-school mindset. Ignore!

What a very weird thing to make fun of someone about! He's a twit.

I'd feel sorry for someone with no friends tbh. Good friends are priceless. I never understand the threads on here where posters say their only friend is their DH.

It seems so isolating.

I was going to write something but Hatty65 says exactly what I think 👌.

Anyone who leaves you feeling deflated & shitty after being in their company OP , fuck them away off out of your life .

He is not a friend. No i wouldn't make fun of anyone that has many friends or few friends,

No. But women are just nicer people than men on the whole so less to worry about if you’re talking about dating. Dump that friend he sounds horrible.

I wouldn't make fun of them. I might feel sorry for them, but only because, as a pp said, usually I wouldn't have a clue how many friends someone has unless they specifically told you they didn't have many, i.e. said 'I wish I had someone to go with,' or whatever.

If someone just told me they did something alone, e.g. holiday, cinema, or whatever, or I saw someone doing those things, I wouldn't feel any particular way, mainly because I've done them myself, but also because again you have no idea if they were supposed to meet with someone who dropped out last minute, or had lots of friends but just none who wanted to do that particular thing, or just preferred to do it alone for whatever reason.

tl;dr I'd only feel sorry (although would probably express it more like 'sympathise with') for someone if they specifically told me it was something they were unhappy with, in the same way I'd feel sorry for someone if they were unhappy about any other part of their life.

Overall I find people who won't do anything on their own because they are afraid of being judged far more pitiable than people who do things alone.

I'm 56, and very rarely socialise, I don't have any real friends, just acquaintances from work, I'm also single after 2 failed marriages. I now wouldn't have it any other way, my time and money is my own. I have no drama, no stress or anything, it is quite liberating when you get used to it.

He sounds like a first class wanker, i wouldn’t give him the time of day if i was you.

I might make a smart remark about someone who treats people badly and ends up lonely as a result. Not to their face though. Simply not having many friends could be for many reasons. Not everyone wants lots of friends.

Firstly how would anyone know how many friends you have? No one can tell how close you are to anyone i have no idea who has the most friends in my circle or who is a
“ real” friend who would have your back and be their for you in a crisis

id Absolutely not make fun and would only feel sorry if they had expressed they were lonely

dont see this twat again