Insecure

[Rosannad]

I’ve a history of feeling insecure in relationships… stems from childhood issues. But I guess I want to ask other women if they think their husbands ignore them a bit in company. Mine finds young people interesting: their politics and lifestyle I guess!

…young people aren’t as a whole more interesting than older people who have lived.
Not to feed your insecurity but, are you sure it’s their politics and lifestyle he finds so enthralling. Maybe you are insecure because your gut knows something.

Is it only younger WOMEN he finds so interesting?
and how does this finding them interesting manifest?

Sometimes childhood issues cause us to consistently pick men who cannot be trusted. Hence, we are not insecure, we are just picking people who a dodgy af. Also, if you tell a man who can’t be trusted that you have trust issues and he happens to be a wrong’un….He will try and convince you that when he behaves dubiously, you don’t have a right to feel mad at him, because it’s your issues.

I've been on both sides of this.

Insecurity is real, and it can be incredibly toxic to a relationship. It's manageable, and it's also possible to be insecure and at the same time have a partner who is unkind or disloyal and not worthy of trust.

My general advice is to very carefully judge the behaviours of both yourself and your partner as objectively as you can, communicate it as well as you can, and take it to counselling. Whether that's individuals or couples.

I feel for you, though. It's an awful place to be.