Half sister fall out

[Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain]

So I’ve got a half sister who I fell out with when she was 20 and I was 27. Basically a big misunderstanding where I probably jumped to the wrong conclusion but also where I know a boyfriend of hers tried to get me fired, through signing me up to drug/alcohol addiction website through my work email. She knew nothing about this apparently and I thought she did know.

So we connected a few years ago when I was in my late 30s. I wanted to meet up to thrash out what happened. I eventually told her re above but she had no idea about it. She said she could forgive but not forget. We ended up having a phone call where she was really unpleasant to me and now we aren’t speaking. She could be a bit controlling and bullying as a person eg on one occasion in the past.

It’s always in the back of my mind though. Should I try to reach out to her and mend bridges? I have another half sister and brother from same marriage who I now don’t speak to because of her.

Also, her parents (our dad) divorced when she was 17, our dad died when she was 18/19. When my dad divorced my mum I was 5. But I appreciate things happening when they did for her and her siblings (the youngest was 9 at the time) was at a really hard time in their lives, development.

So what would you do? Reach out? Any advice?

I wouldn't because you clearly don't get on and appear to have been estranged for some time. I'm sceptical that this vision you seem to have of patching things up with her, and reconnecting with the other step siblings, is realistic. If you do, I'd avoid bringing up the history because you clearly don't see eye to eye on this.

It is a pity as we had a good relationship for a few years. Socialised a lot together, went away together.

The one occasion she was nasty to me was at Notting Hill Carnival. I’d had my purse nicked and a large amount of money spent on my bank card. Of course I was very upset and hysterical. In the police station with me, she was so unpleasant that the police officer assigned to me had to ask her to leave the room where I was as she was shouting at me. The officer then asked me why was she like this and said she was out of order and not helping at all. She was known in her family for being bossy. She was about 18 then.

I just do feel for her as she had her parents divorce and dad’s death at a young age. I had the death but not the divorce.