Lack of planning and financial security

[Cakelovinglady88]

I am leaving a relationship after 7 years, DP’s lack of financial management is one of the main reasons (hidden debts, lack of financial tracking and planning). He is not a planner in general, I always managed this side of our relationship (dates, holidays, shopping lists, chores, vet appointments etc) but a year ago I started to feel overwhelmed and I realised how unfair the setup was and I don’t want do this for the rest of my life. I love him and care for him, he is kind and fun but I never wanted to be the person who plans everything in the relationship and has to nag the other person constantly to do stuff (including taking care of themselves).

Has anyone left for similar reasons and have you regretted it later?

My my exH was terrible with money. I made sure we had separate accounts with a joint bill account. That we both paid into.

you can split up for any reason. Trust your gut

I'm really money savvy and super organised with household admin.

I couldn't be with someone who wasn't on the same page as me.

Trust your gut, us ladies have brilliant intuition if we listen to it.

I was always that person too. We split for other reasons but yes, it got very tiring carrying all the mental load and responsibility.
However, I still miss him and our relationship at times. Giving up that level of history has its own sadness.
It comes down to what you’re able to live with and what he can or wants to do to change this.

Was this the reason your marriage ended? We have a joint account for mortgage and bills but unfortunately it didn’t stop him from using his credit cards etc

I’m very financially and life admin organised…DH definitely isn’t. But then he does all the house/car maintenance…so we both stick to what we’re good at. What load does your DH carry?

He does refurbs on the house but only if I tell him to do and nag him. Part of the problem is that he rarely does anything unless being told