Ds come out.

[chelseag93]

My DS came to tell me that he is gay.

I want him to feel loved and supported exactly for who he is but DH is refusing to accept it and is making bigotry comments, not directly to DS though but still not acceptable nonetheless

How can he treat our DS like this?

Home life is quite tense right now, trying to protect my son and make sure he feels loved whilst also dealing with DH's anger towards the situation and I am trying to navigate what this could mean for our marriage.

I'm terrified of what impact it will have on DS's mental health as he already struggles with bouts of major depressive episodes.

If dh makes you pick a side, pick ds.

Some men are just like that and there isn’t much you can do about it. They just can’t wrap their heads around it because it is not how they imagined their child being as an adult. If he is willing to work on it counselling may come handy, but I would imagine he is in shock. If you disagree it may mean the end of your marriage

This. Your husband is being a prick. No matter what his reason he's bang out of order and being cruel.

By making those comments he has made her pick. He has to go and cool off before either coming back and apologising and proving he isn’t a dick, or not coming back

I’m sorry to hear that, OP. A homophobic partner would turn my stomach.

Take DS out of this. Can you live with a relationship with a homophobic prick?

Has your husband always been homophobic? I don’t think I could stay married to someone who would react like that. Put your son first and tell your husband to leave and come back when he’s ready to accept his own son.

I couldn't be married to a bigot, regardless of whether I had a homosexual child.

If that is his belief then it should be the end of her marriage. He either accepts his son as he is or he is a piece of shit who needs to go.

There is no excuse in this day and age for any hatred toward gay people, and this is his own son!

Good news is he has shown you who he is so now you know and you can get rid of him (husband obviously, not son)

Hello OP, I am so sorry that your DH has responded in this way - especially with a knowledge of MH issues too.

How old is your DS, may I ask? My sibling came out as gay many years ago and, while it was not surprising, my DD also reacted the same way.

Luckily my sibling (came out 18, now 31) had a very supportive, firm sister and mother, and that is HONESTLY the most important kind of support they'll need right now
We have a fantastic adult sibling relationship

Worse things happen when individuals want to go no-contact with family members out of shame and become more vulnerable/runaways/at risk of exploitation.

DD now just gets on with it, with a "live and let live" attitude
Don't let your child become isolated <3

Quick edit:
MH issues could be due to repressed sexuality
Yes, agree with others than living with a homophobic partner is a 0/0 situation... in our case my DD basically felt so left out of the family unit as a bigot that he finally gave up 🙃 what a silly man

Sometimes it can be wise to just let the dust settle and let people get used to the idea, especially if it's come out the blue. Support your son in the meantime.

I speak from family experience of this situation, and know things can have a very happy resolution if you don't rush immediately to judgment.

If attitudes remain hardened long term you have a different problem, but let your husband have some thinking time. 😘

DD is daughter and DF is dad (father) - sorry not nitpicking just wanted to make it easier for you to keep track on other threads 💐

No that's ok, I instantly realised my mistake but couldn't edit ha, too tired this weekend - feel very silly!! Hopefully the message was still solid!

Ah don’t feel silly, just wanted to check in case you didn’t realise. 💐

Not everyone can accept it on the second.. He may need to time for it to sink in, go through the grief process and get to the acceptance stage.

just because someone hasn’t jumped in excitement and acceptance on the second doesn’t make them a prick etc. It can be a big shock. If he is adamant he can’t accept it then sure divorce if you feel this way..

There's needing time to process it and there's making unkind and homophobic remarks. I wouldnt tolerate the latter.

So, so sad that some people still get this kind of reception when they come out to their loved ones.

Did it come as a surprise? If so, I would give your husband some time.

He made homophobic remarks…you might not like your child being gay, but to make homophobic remarks means you are homophobic…so yeah