Is my marriage over?

[NotTonightDeidre]

How do you know a marriage is over? How do you make that decision?

H walked out on me 2 weeks ago. In his mind it was only going to be for a couple of days. But I chose to hold a boundary.

He's talking about reconciliation. I'm not sure I want that. I don't hate him, but I don't think I really love him anymore either.

I don't know what to do.

when my marriage was over I just knew. We limped along for a year or so but I knew deep down it was over. If you don’t know what to do, don’t do anything. Give yourself time and space. Dont be rushed into a decision your not ready to make.

OP have you looked at marriage counselling? I’m current doing marriage counselling but I’m not sure my marriage is saveable.

It’s difficult, you will have a lot of emotions running through you at the moment, and it’s awful, all I can say is try take care of yourself and if possible have some space to help you decide what you want going forwards.

I’m absolutely terrified but I’m not sure I want to continue living in a marriage that’s making me miserable.. The fact we’ve also got 5 SEN children together complicates things, as we certainly have our hands full and going it alone with the 5 children I honestly can’t even imagine!

I suppose that depends on what the issues are?

OP there are clearly things that has been hanging over your marriage which is making you reevaluate what you want now. And your DH clearly has crossed the line many times for you to simply say enough.

If his absence gives you peace and you feel relief, then you know deep down your next steps. But I would first, before heading down that road, go and speak to someone on your own, not with your DH, that can come later if you want, but this is a decision that perhaps needs unpicking?

If this week has brought you here to ask this question, then its because you need confidence to take that leap.

If you love your DH, and you feel there is more to do in your marriage, and you both work on it, not just you picking yourself up every time he decides he has had enough, then look into that. But if he is going to cater for a fling, its time to call it a day