Ex keeps hovering at the gym and putting off someone I like

[Penguin6]

I am friends with an ex and I joined a gym where he goes as it’s the best one in out area. At first it was a casual hi how are you and nothing more. Over the last year he specifically goes when I go, will try to involve himself in my workouts and try to work out with me. He will non stop talk to me to point it looks like we’re together. There’s a man at the gym who I fancy and we also go at the same time, we make eye contact lots but I think he doesn’t approach me because my ex is constantly by me. I really want to talk to him. What should I do?

Do you make it obvious you don’t want to talk to your ex all the time while you’re there?

Put your headphones in and tell him you just want to work out in silence without chatting.

He is almost certainly intentionally doing it at least in part to stop the other guy from coming near. Knowing that you need to act accordingly and be less polite and tolerant of his constant trying to hang around with you.

Go and talk to him.

Tell him your ex is a dickhead and always around.

Just headphone up and then go talk to him when X has drifted off.

Why don’t you ask your ex to stop doing this and tell the gym if he keeps harsssing you?

women are conditioned to be polite- if you don’t want to talk to him then don’t!

I’m ruddy sure I would not be friends with an ex (or anyone else) if they were smothering me and preventing me from having interactions with others.

That is creepy bastard behaviour and you should be telling the gym staff that you do not want his attentions.

Can you vary the time you go by half an hour? Even just once or twice a week. So he can't reliably know when you're going.

Wear headphone, don't take them off when he talks just nod. I used to watch a series on my phone while on the treadmill type things which would serve well to show you're not paying him attention. Even if you don't actually watch. If he asks just say "oh yeah I'm really into this series" or "I feel like I'm getting too distracted lately so wanted to focus my mind while working out better."

Go for a toilet break in the middle of your workout without mentioning where you're going, when we're with someone we say "I'm just nipping to the loo" but you don't tell the stranger on the equipment next to you, you don't tell him you're showing him you're not with him. You could even ask someone on the other side of you to watch your stuff while you go to the loo.

Leave halfway through a workout without saying anything.

Change the pattern of your workout, mix it up so he doesn't know what equipment you're going on next.

Be less predictable and give him less attention. He'll get bored.
Or just say "I can't focus when you're talking to me the whole time I'm working out, can you focus on your own workout please and leave me to mine"

I misread the title of the thread as "ex keeps hoovering at the gym".

Which would be oddly specific behaviour.

Go and talk to the bloke. Stop being polite to your ex. He’s a cock blocker.

Tell your ex to fuck off and leave you alone!!

Tell your ex that you want him to give you some space.

You could even tell him it's because there's a man you fancy.

You'll quickly find out whether he's really your friend!

I appreciate all the advice and I took it all on board! I sent him a message that it’s the only time I get to myself and I’d really appreciate it I can work out alone to focus on me. He understood, didn’t hang around me and within a couple days, the guy I like approached me and started a conversation! He still comes at the same time as but he’s backed right off. I am going to try coming slightly before he thinks I’m coming too.