Husband negative about our vacation

[Anuta77]

I have an 18 y.o. son from a previous relationship and because he's on vacation in January and I want him to go with us and our younger son, especially because when my first son was younger, we were doing renovations and had no money to travel. Our younger is in primary school, so missing it is less serious than my oldest missing college. I have explained it to the husband SEVERAL times when he tried to suggest going in a different moment, like March or April. Last year in January, we went to the Carribean and husband knew why.
This year, he was suggesting to go to Spain and South of France. It wasn't my first choice, but I was going to be flexible. I found cheap tickets and a non stop flight. I checked the weather, read travel reports for winter and it sounded ok, especially compared to Eastern Canada where we live.
Then he told me that the town in South of France where he wanted to go sometimes experiences very strong winds. It's not 100% certaintly, but it might happen. I did research and built an itinerary that allows us to go to coastal areas that has better weather in case of these winds. I was sending him the info and talking to him about it. I also suggested to go to Portugal or other parts of Spain if he doesn't want to deal with the wind, but no, he was stuck on that itinerary. I got the impression that we're still doing it. I even sent him preliminary plan ticket pricing.
So last night, when he was gone to bed, I bought the tickets. I was motivated by the fact that last year, plane tickets were going up while I was hesitating. I was very excited. I tell him this morning and it's met with negativity. He tells me that I did it against his will, that I'm forcing this trip on him. The argument about my son not being able to miss college level classes don't work. I tried to send him the itinerary built with ChatGPT that allows for flexibility in case of strong winds, but nothing does it. I later showed him a well priced nice hotel, he says: ok, if you want it. I asked him if he's not interested if he prefers that I just plan and reserve everything myself and he said yes.
Was I wrong? What is the healthy way to dealing with this? I find that lately he's been pretty grumpy in general (he's 56, takes some meds that bind testosterone, so maybe it's what's making affecting him as well), but i'm not young either and I just want to enjoy life and I'm ready to lose money on his ticket and just go alone with my kids to create a nice memory for them.

Why bother?

Go on a weekend away with your children and leave him at home.

Some folk you simply can’t do right by them! Your H sounds like one of these.

If he keeps up this mood the proposed holiday sounds awful. Only you know how long he keeps ‘feeding’ a mood, but this sounds extremely tedious. He could well sap every bit of joy out of what sounds like a wonderful holiday. I’d be seriously considering leaving him to stew at home, take your children and have a marvelous time.

So you’re going to mainland Europe for a big holiday in January? It’s not really a destination I would recommend for that time of year, but ok.

I can see why your DH has given up. If he does try to suggest anything like timings or locations,you painstakingly research and tell him why his idea doesn’t work, then it seems like you book it without doing that final confirmation that it’s all good with him.

I like planning holidays too, but we do it as a democracy.

Unfortunately I’m with you H here, lots of Iberia resorts/ restaurants will be closed in Jan as they are setup for European summer holidays-
I think you might be setting yourself up for an underwhelming holiday, I’ve been to Turkey out of season and it was pretty depressing

Clearly your DH either doesn’t want to go on holiday in Jan or doesn’t want to go on holiday with your son. I’d choose what you and sons want to do and then ask him if he wants to come. If not, go without him and go with him somewhere else in the summer. Agree with others that south Europe in winter is not ideal.

You want to go in January so your DS can join you but it's a long journey and a lot of expense for a really offpeak time.

If you go on holiday out of season the wind will be the least of your problems - everything is going to be closed. I'd be grumpy if someone bought flights with shared money without asking first, no matter the reasoning. I can't imagine that January is the only time that your older son has a break from college, surely he has a summer break too and going then would also mean your younger son wouldn't have to miss school (although you don't seem remotely bothered about this). You're spending money to go somewhere during the peak of the Mistral and/or Tramontane and when it's also damp, when you could save a bit more money during January - May and use it to go at a more expensive time of year but when the weather is infinitely better and everything will be open! I'm with your husband. I don't think he's grumpy, I think he's sensible!

He's talking about the Mistral wind, isn't he?

Well... it may not be as bad as usual because of El Nino affecting global weather systems. On the other hand, it could make it worse.

I wouldn't thank you for that holiday at that time of year either! Sorry OP, he's right here.

I wouldn't go to France for a family holiday in January. It'll be cold and off season.

I wouldn't go to France for a family holiday in January. It'll be cold and off season.

He's grumpy because you've booked a holiday he doesn't want to go on. So if he does come with you be prepared for a lot of I told you so's if it's windy and rather out of season.

If going without him is an option then just do that.

it's presumably quite expensive with trans atlantic flights.

In the circumstances I'd suggest the two of you go out for a coffee or a walk - basically leave the house - and have a chat - it's done now, so will he be on board with it?

also you could always get an flight down to southern spain where you stand a good chance of decent weather in january....malaga, or cadiz or Granada.