Should I stop hoping for a relationship if I mostly want validation?

[bananamilkshake97]

I am a 27 year old man. For now many aspects of my life are great - good job, fitness, more than comfortable safety net in the bank and a almost paid off (small) flat.
The issue is I no matter how attractive I think I am I have never been in a relationship and don't think of marriage while many people my age are married.

The issue is if I ask myself why I want a relationship is to feel validated by women which is a reason why many people step into relationships and suffer, they suffer a lot.

So, it feels like a Catch 22 To get a relationship I need to stop wanting a relationship due to the main reason I want it.
Maybe somewhere in the mix there is 1% desire for intimacy but I can't forget about the 99% left which is desire for validation.

Should I try to stop believing that a relationship and the intimacy it leads to will ever be a part of my life?

Also, another reason that bugs me is that I believe a woman hypothetically want me for my flat, steal it by forging documents and then go off to someone who she is more attracted to. Its embarrassing even to write it anonymously, yet I have these doubts which stem for my low confidence. I understand I need to fix my confidence before a relationship yet if I can't does that mean I will never experience the love I see every weekend in parks couples holding hands and laughing, embracing and kissing.

Therapy.

You know what they say: finding love is not about finding a particular person but identifying the blocks to love within yourself.

First response nailed it.

Do you actually want to look after somebody and have them look after you? It doesn’t sound like it

Mate that's a pretty fucked up view of life.

You need to talk to a professional, your balance is very off.

Single life might be for you, that's fine a partner isn't for everyone, but your views are worryingly odd.

Get a grip, and some therapy. Please do not impose this fucked up thinking in a poor woman, who should not have to be your emotional support animal.

Sounds narcissistic. I would get therapy.

It doesn’t sound like you see women as people just like you, sounds more like you want a dog tbh.
I don’t think most people do get into a relationship for validation tbh. Nor do they assume someone will find documents, commit fraud and steal their flat. It doesn’t sound like you do want a relationship really, and that’s fine, just don’t have one.

Dude. For everyone's sake, leave women alone.

I wouldn’t even bother with therapy tbh, if all you want it for is to overcome your paranoia about being defrauded sufficiently to acquire a woman as a status symbol.

Just hunker down in your little paid off flat admiring your own attractiveness.

What do you mean by 'validated'?