For those who’ve come out of a long-term relationship
what was it like sleeping with someone new for the first time?
I recently did it after a pretty horrible breakup. It had been about five weeks of no contact with my ex, and I honestly wasn’t sure how I’d feel being intimate with somebody completely new.
I think I’d built the “first person after my ex” thing up into this massive milestone in my head. I wondered whether I’d compare them, whether I’d suddenly feel emotional afterwards, whether it would make me miss my ex, or whether I’d just feel weird.
But it was almost the opposite.
I felt attractive again. I felt wanted. I’d spent so long having my confidence knocked that I think I’d forgotten what it felt like to have someone new look at me and genuinely fancy me. And there was something really freeing about realising that attraction, intimacy and that side of myself didn’t begin and end with one man.
It also wasn’t some perfect, serious, movie-like experience. There were awkward moments, we laughed, I managed to headbutt him at one point 😂 and somehow that actually made it better. I came away thinking, “Well… I did it. I slept with somebody who wasn’t my ex, I enjoyed myself, I laughed, and the world didn’t end.”
I don’t suddenly want another relationship and I’m still very much enjoying being single. But I think I needed that little reminder that I’m still me, I’m still attractive, and there’s a whole life on the other side of a breakup.
So I’m curious
do you remember the first person you slept with after a serious relationship? Did it make you feel differently about yourself or your ex? Did you feel liberated, emotional, guilty, confident… or was it just sex and you carried on with your day? 😂