Anyone else in their early 40's and been single a significant amount of time?

[Rachaelf37]

I'm 42 and I've been single coming up 5 years now. In that time I've had a two month connection, a few month long connections and a 4 month connection but nothing has made it past that point. I'm finding it really hard to stay positive and think I'll ever meet anyone who I'll be happy with who continues to like me back. They tend to like me intensely in the beginning then suddenly changed their minds. I usually wait a good few dates in to sleep with them.

Is anyone else in the same boat? I only ever knew a few single people and they have all now met someone.
I only have one child and I'd of loved another so I guess I'm grieving that too.

I've tried joining sports groups, online dating, and going to events where everyone is single. I just don't seem to have much luck. I'm an anxious attachment style do when I very rarely meet someone I like I get very anxious about it. I really miss having a romantic connection but at the same time don't want to settle for the wrong person. It's really hard to stay positive. I take breaks from the apps every so often.

I’m 36 and single 8 years. I don’t date though as I don’t find it fulfilling. However, I wanted to say that ones who like women intensely tend to be the love bombing type who are very easy to spot once you know what to look for.

My relationship history is awful. Had 2 long term relationship which lasted 3 years other than that a few months or so for others. Relationship wise I’d say I’ve had 5 bfs (I’m 53) my 2 DCs have different dads and and neither were from the long term relationships.

Not had anyone interested since DD was born (she’s 17). I do think sometimes how nice it must be to have someone next to me, then I think how bloody annoying it can. R having someone next to me!

39, single 12 years. Not dated for over 3.

Men are not worth the hassle.

Not me but me friend. I’ve know her for about 8 years and she was living with someone who she was unhappy with. Eventually moved out and got her own place and has been very very resistant to any new relationships. Recently she’s been on a dating app and has suddenly met a guy and all of a sudden is a smitten kitten. He looks lovely in his pics - Spanish… bit of a boffin ( just her type ). Shes 41 now and although she didn’t talk about it much I’m sure she must have felt very similar to you. She went through lockdown living on her own so I suspect there have been times of really feeling alone. I hope the relationship lasts for her and someone comes along for you OP. There’s no reason why it can’t happen at any time.

Yes but not as long as you.
i meet people, they seem nice, but i don’t like them enough to pursue it. Work insane hours, my kids are still very young and I have good friends so i cope ok. But I get these intense feelings of loneliness sometimes, especially when the kids are with their dad.
I have tried singles nights. I did bumble for a bit and a guy ghosted me when he found out about my children 🤦‍♀️ met a really nice guy who was perfect on paper but I had zero sexual attraction.
I’m going to take up a social sport as I’ve heard it’s good for meeting people but I have no expectations.
what I miss most is having a travel buddy for holidays 🙁

Late 40s here and been single 15 years, really happy and not looking to change anything!

As you already have a child, and are probably past the point of more unless you go down the sperm donor route (because at 42, a new relationship would have to move VERY fast for you to have a baby before fertile window closes), I would really de-prioritise men and dating, and enrich your life in other ways. You might find that you actually meet a partner that way.

Most of them are wrong. you have to give up far too much of yourself to keep the peace. Women mostly settle but nobody is going to come out and say that

Was single 14 years, didn't do apps not my thing, met someone out shopping one day I kindof crashed into him as wasn't watching where I was walking was 39 and now at 45 been married to him 5 years have twins and 2 boys and couldn't be happier. Never expected it to happen never expected the sudden click and love my life

Im single 10 years, im fine with it

I’m 47 and have been single for 10 years!!

I don’t mind though 🤷‍♀️

I'm 49 and it'll be 20 years on my own in November. I haven't really looked since Covid but I think its pretty clear that I am not what women want.

It is what it is. Everyone i know is married now so I spend a lot of time on my own, which i have come to really enjoy