Hi all! Sorry if I miss spell any words, im rushing to write it
First of all, im 30 weeks pregnant with our second child, since I've became pregnant, partner doesnt seem interested in sex, I have brought this up with him and he says he is not sure but "pregnant women don't turn him on"
We have been together 8 years and throughout that time, we have had gaps in our relationship due to sex where I haven't been in the mood due to my depression tablets and he kicked up a fuss about it - i said I just had no drive but understood that he felt like that. He escalated it by bringing up everything wrong. This was around 3 years ago.
Last night, I initiated it again and he had oral, then nothing... didnt want to touch me.
I've told him few weeks back that his lack of drive toward me being pregnant has been making me feel and he said he didnt want me feeling like that and he understands there's been a change but hes not sure why?
my sex drive has also increased but I feel now that him not initiating can be normal during my pregnancy (researched this after our convo) but then, last night left me confused as he knew I wanted it and he caressed me until he had his and then just stopped.
Also last night was different- instead of not wanting it - he took it and then that was it? I felt used tbh
He NEVER gives me oral anyway (used to when we go together but stopped) but still wants it to receive it.. he couldn't even offer me a finger for 4 minutes and I just can't help but think hes checked out.
To make matters worse, he works away monday to friday EVERY week and we have a 6 year old, he works away with men who use sex workers and he tells me how disrespectful they are to their partners and swears down he wouldn't do it - i believe him BUT this shift in him since ive been pregnant, has made me have doubts.
When we first got together, he was all for pleasing me and now I feel like its a chore (he lays there panting after his O just using his finger - no affection after his 'came')
I brought this up (he's nearly 38 btw) and he walked out on me to go catch the train for work all week and said before he left "so just because you give me something means I have to give you something back? I cant have a BJ from my partner of 8 years without giving back?!"
He also messaged me after saying that he "gives me without taking all the time" and this is a lie, that's never happened? But him 'just taking' has happened a few times now.
I feel so used and unwanted, probably over reacting as im pregnant but, there has been a shift in his behavior in the bedroom. Everything else is fine.
He said he regrets telling me all the stories about his work people but said he told me incase I found out but these people (but one) live miles away? I don't even see them.
He also told me one of his work mates asked him to join him once (brothel) and he said no chance and the friend hasn't asked again, i was fuming and said i was going to confront this man as i see him when I pick partner up from train (he smiles at me and tries to make convo) partner said no as its none of his business what he does and ill make it Hard for him to get to work 🤦♀️
I'm just at a loss and think im going crazy. Am I over reacting or would you feel the same? I didnt mention it to him when it happened a few weeks ago but I think because I let it slide, he thinks its acceptable. I felt used tbh...
He then brought up all past arguments today over text when he left and was deflecting all the blame on me. It got nasty but that could be out of anger or maybe a man hearing he isnt pleasing his partner makes him feel embarrassed? Im just confused.
Please don't judge as I know it can come across childish but im really struggling mentally now. Thank you