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[Kikimusnik]

Just wondering how do you stop feeling so empty and lonely in relationship?

I work a cleaning job at the weekends, partner is at home with the kids (school age) one has sen We don't go out much. (Eldest does with friends)

It's just the same mundane cleaning and cooking etc tidying up. He never notices what needs doing. Always having to be told. I get up every morning with the kids without fail. Yes he works full time, but I never have a lie in ever.

We moved a few years ago to his hometown for his job, he has lots of friends and family around (mine are all where I'm originally from) I am friendly with a neighbour but don't have any other friends here..

I feel like I'm burnt out..how do I stop feeling like this?! I feel empty really if I'm honest. Apologies it's long winded

What do you do during the week when not working? Could you join a gym? A class?

The kids are in school, I don't do much during the week if I'm honest..I video call family/friends from my hometown and do any housework that needs doing. I know I do need to join a hobby of some sort. I have got in a rut and got very depressed.

I’m afraid the ball is in your court then Op
you have a lot of time to yourself during the week
make the most of it! Gym, class, check out your local library for classes for example

The world is your oyster, you have hours every day, build your financial independence, boost your pension, buy your own property, develop friendships, do things you enjoy.
If you're not enjoying the relationship, end it. As he's building up his own finances by working full time, you should consider your future.

You could see about getting a part time job during the week
so then you have the weekend as a family

Are you seeing a GP for the depression? If you get some help for that it might mean you have more impetus to leave the house and take up a hobby or start doing other things for yourself.

Hi, thank you for replies on this thread. I will make a GP appointment tomorrow for the depression as it has got very bad recently, id like to look for another job as well.

Lots of good points raised. I just don't feel like a partner at the moment. I feel like his mum, which doesn't help my desire at all.. just wish he would take initiative.

I think some difficult conversations need to be had unfortunately.

Yes but you need to do focus squarely on yourself (and your child) to get yourself in the healthiest and strongest place you can be.

Then focus on what sounds like a pretty damn unhappy marriage

I think if you get a job in the week that works around school hours then you would find yourself feeling more connected to your husband and to family life instantly as you would all be there at the weekend together. I have a friend who started her own cleaning business, she does people’s houses, and she works when she wants to which is school hours only - you could try doing this?

If i were you @Kikimusnik I'd get myself a cleaning job on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Three or four hours. Where I live, cleaning ratws are £20ph. I reckon that could easily be an additional £120pw. I'd have my hair done regularly, buy a few nice clothes, On Mondays and Wednesdays I'd look at: book club, gym class, join the RHS and attend their events, if it floats your boat: amdram, choir, sports team, etc.

Also, do you drive? If not, learn.

I think ramping up your financial independence would help enormously. You have many many hours to yourself during the week - fill it with more paid work

You could work more hours during the week. If not cleaning then something else.

cleaning would definitely fit around school hours should you wish. Do that rather than weekends

Yes I do drive. I think I will be a lot happier to work during the week, I know I need to take time for myself also.

Thank you very much for all the great suggestions. 😊

Have you ring your gp?

I couldn't get through to the GP this morning, but I will be calling again tomorrow morning, I have wrote down how I am feeling etc and will explain everything to them.

Join a singing group/choir, even if you don't sing well. One activity will open doors to a lot more: maybe a new job/career.