Am I being crazy ? Husband and tik tok

YourPoliteLemur · 2026-09-27T11:32:29+00:00

Hi ladies My husband is 33, he’s always had social media profiles but hasn’t been a regular poster I’m not 100 percent sure how tik tok works. But recently he been going live on tik tok and all of a sudden his follow count and followers have jumped. He’s following random women . In one of his lives I saw him comment dm to a woman . And to be fair when I joined , the women on the live were saying very flirty things . I don’t know if my husband has made it known he’s married I don’t have access to his phone Am I being crazy or would this make anybody else feel uncomfortable. I don’t know if this is normal to get your followers up . I know social media is a crazy world .

Releasemeplease · 27/09/2026 12:46

Sounds as though he is behaving like a single teenager OP eather than a supposedly married adult man.
I think you are right to be unhappy because at the very least he is looking for validation from women outside his marriage.

WallaceinAnderland · 27/09/2026 12:49

Why would he want to dm?

KeenAzureHare · 27/09/2026 12:50

I know you can earn money by going live on tik tok.
And you can literally go live and do anything like just walking around looking at things and commenting or act silly or sing a song and the people viewing can send you gifts that equate to money.
My cousin did this a lot in her spare time and made a bit of money from just being silly.
It's crazy how many people will follow and watch you.
Maybe get tik tok and join when he goes live.
I think it actually saves the content so you should be able to click on his profile and watch a previous live event.

Original poster

YourPoliteLemur · 27/09/2026 12:52

Releasemeplease · 27/09/2026 12:46

Sounds as though he is behaving like a single teenager OP eather than a supposedly married adult man.
I think you are right to be unhappy because at the very least he is looking for validation from women outside his marriage.

That’s my feeling too, if he wants to gain followers, post relatable things then. Even family life ect but I’m nowhere on his tik tok, so if I was one of his followers I would assume he is single.

It’s just got me feeling a type of way.

OP posts:

Original poster

YourPoliteLemur · 27/09/2026 13:02

KeenAzureHare · 27/09/2026 12:50

I know you can earn money by going live on tik tok.
And you can literally go live and do anything like just walking around looking at things and commenting or act silly or sing a song and the people viewing can send you gifts that equate to money.
My cousin did this a lot in her spare time and made a bit of money from just being silly.
It's crazy how many people will follow and watch you.
Maybe get tik tok and join when he goes live.
I think it actually saves the content so you should be able to click on his profile and watch a previous live event.

Yeah I did actually join the live, he didn’t know I was there though.
I don’t think it was his own live, there was a host that was female.
He was sending gifts as well as receiving them from these women
The host and another woman was just chatting that everybody needs to like the live and follow then they were making some sexual jokes.

OP posts:

Original poster

YourPoliteLemur · 27/09/2026 13:02

WallaceinAnderland · 27/09/2026 12:49

Why would he want to dm?

I don’t know, that’s the part I find weird as well.

OP posts:

SnappyPenguin · 27/09/2026 13:03

I would tell him tiktok goes or he goes.

PolkaDotPorridge · 27/09/2026 13:09

Ugh. How unattractive OP. That would give me the ick and I’d be looking for door or showing it to him!

Original poster

YourPoliteLemur · 27/09/2026 13:14

PolkaDotPorridge · 27/09/2026 13:09

Ugh. How unattractive OP. That would give me the ick and I’d be looking for door or showing it to him!

Would you consider it a big issue then ?
I don’t want to sound like I’m being controlling

OP posts:

KeenAzureHare · 27/09/2026 14:15

I personally wouldn't have thought there's anything untoward going on.
It's all about getting the likes,follows and ultimately the money.
The women hosts are not going to be bothered about who or who isn't married as it's not that personal they are just trying to get paid from whoever is gullible enough to send them gifts.
It's a massive industry now.

Original poster

YourPoliteLemur · 27/09/2026 15:35

KeenAzureHare · 27/09/2026 14:15

I personally wouldn't have thought there's anything untoward going on.
It's all about getting the likes,follows and ultimately the money.
The women hosts are not going to be bothered about who or who isn't married as it's not that personal they are just trying to get paid from whoever is gullible enough to send them gifts.
It's a massive industry now.

Ok that’s why I thought to mention I don’t know much about tik tok and how it works with the lives

why would he need to be in her dms though ?

OP posts:

SALaw · 27/09/2026 15:37

YourPoliteLemur · 27/09/2026 13:02

Yeah I did actually join the live, he didn’t know I was there though.
I don’t think it was his own live, there was a host that was female.
He was sending gifts as well as receiving them from these women
The host and another woman was just chatting that everybody needs to like the live and follow then they were making some sexual jokes.

Show quote history

Sounds incredibly dull. People watch that?!

SnappyPenguin · 27/09/2026 15:54

SALaw · 27/09/2026 15:37

Sounds incredibly dull. People watch that?!

Show quote history

Yes people who are brain dead get a kick out of these lives.

Lugol · 27/09/2026 16:30

The world has literally gone mad.

No OP I wouldn't like this.

I wouldn't tolerate it either.

Original poster

YourPoliteLemur · 03/10/2026 21:10

Hi ladies
so just updating

I haven’t addressed this with my husband yet , but I’ve been observing him, and like I said previous I wasn’t really aware of how tik tok lives work .

But after observing him for a few days what he is doing for example,
there is 8 women on the live with a host and it’s called a box battle, so people are sending gifts to these women upping there score and the one with the highest wins.

So I watched him send gifts specifically to this one woman and from what I’ve worked out he spent £6-7 this time, now this isn’t ALOT of money but it’s still money, from what I understand she won’t get all of that maybe £3 or so

On another occasion he was in a speed dating live he left a comment “ you guys don’t sleep on name she’s a beaut
I’m just disgusted in all of this. How he can be spending money on random women. Or just wasting his time even viewing these lives .

Im surely not the only woman that would be disgusted with this ? What does he get out of this ? Apart from them following him

OP posts:

SALaw · 03/10/2026 21:58

YourPoliteLemur · 03/10/2026 21:10

Hi ladies
so just updating

I haven’t addressed this with my husband yet , but I’ve been observing him, and like I said previous I wasn’t really aware of how tik tok lives work .

But after observing him for a few days what he is doing for example,
there is 8 women on the live with a host and it’s called a box battle, so people are sending gifts to these women upping there score and the one with the highest wins.

So I watched him send gifts specifically to this one woman and from what I’ve worked out he spent £6-7 this time, now this isn’t ALOT of money but it’s still money, from what I understand she won’t get all of that maybe £3 or so

On another occasion he was in a speed dating live he left a comment “ you guys don’t sleep on name she’s a beaut
I’m just disgusted in all of this. How he can be spending money on random women. Or just wasting his time even viewing these lives .

Im surely not the only woman that would be disgusted with this ? What does he get out of this ? Apart from them following him

What are the gifts?

EarthSight · 03/10/2026 22:08

I'd say that your husband has learnt that Tik Tok is where all the very young or teenage girls are, and he wants a slice of that attention, maybe more. Men can behave this way at any age, but early 30s is when they tend to do it more because they think that's the last time they'll be able to get a teenage girl or someone in their early 20s.

You and so many other women mean well when you say you don't want to be controlling, but it's sad how many women are treated as utter doormats by men who use this against those women when they start asking questions.

Just remember - people have the right to do or be friends with who they want......BUT, you also have the right to see certain behaviours as unacceptable. You have the right to leave, and be in a relationship where someone doesn't stretch your trust to its absolute limit and take the piss. His way of viewing a situation isn't the absolute truth you have to accept, just because he says so.

EarthSight · 03/10/2026 22:13

On another occasion he was in a speed dating live he left a comment “ you guys don’t sleep on name* she’s a beaut
I’m just disgusted in all of this. How he can be spending money on random women. Or just wasting his time even viewing these lives .
Im surely not the only woman that would be disgusted with this ? What does he get out of this ? Apart from them following him*

It doesn't have to be an affair for it to be cheating. I would call this adulterous behaviour, and yes, it would disgust many women and for me it would be reason to dump someone. He's leaving sexually inappropriate comments, on a platform with a lot of teenagers and very young women on it and following them, and he's spending money on them.

Such disrespect for you OP, and he's a sleeze.

Original poster

YourPoliteLemur · 03/10/2026 22:45

SALaw · 03/10/2026 21:58

What are the gifts?

Show quote history

The rose
The hand with a heart and the bear with a heart

Those are the 3 he’s been using

OP posts:

Original poster

YourPoliteLemur · 03/10/2026 22:49

EarthSight · 03/10/2026 22:13

On another occasion he was in a speed dating live he left a comment “ you guys don’t sleep on name* she’s a beaut
I’m just disgusted in all of this. How he can be spending money on random women. Or just wasting his time even viewing these lives .
Im surely not the only woman that would be disgusted with this ? What does he get out of this ? Apart from them following him*

It doesn't have to be an affair for it to be cheating. I would call this adulterous behaviour, and yes, it would disgust many women and for me it would be reason to dump someone. He's leaving sexually inappropriate comments, on a platform with a lot of teenagers and very young women on it and following them, and he's spending money on them.

Such disrespect for you OP, and he's a sleeze.

Thank you
Yes my heart sunk when I saw that comment from him.
.

OP posts:

Original poster

YourPoliteLemur · 03/10/2026 22:53

EarthSight · 03/10/2026 22:08

I'd say that your husband has learnt that Tik Tok is where all the very young or teenage girls are, and he wants a slice of that attention, maybe more. Men can behave this way at any age, but early 30s is when they tend to do it more because they think that's the last time they'll be able to get a teenage girl or someone in their early 20s.

You and so many other women mean well when you say you don't want to be controlling, but it's sad how many women are treated as utter doormats by men who use this against those women when they start asking questions.

Just remember - people have the right to do or be friends with who they want......BUT, you also have the right to see certain behaviours as unacceptable. You have the right to leave, and be in a relationship where someone doesn't stretch your trust to its absolute limit and take the piss. His way of viewing a situation isn't the absolute truth you have to accept, just because he says so.

Edited

Thank you
Yes I was even shocked with what is on that side of tik tok.

I haven’t addressed it yet with him. I just know what his response will be

OP posts:

SALaw · 03/10/2026 23:13

YourPoliteLemur · 03/10/2026 22:45

The rose
The hand with a heart and the bear with a heart

Those are the 3 he’s been using

Show quote history

I have no idea what this means.

grinandslothit · 03/10/2026 23:19

Have you noticed him treating you differently? more distant? more cold towards you?