What is fair for a partner to pay when moving in?

[ThatAvidLemonUser]

Advice please about finances as my partner is moving into my house.

We are both in our 50's with adult children, one of mine is at uni so still lives at home. We both have our own homes with mortgage, and want to keep our finances separate and the houses separate so inheritance for our children is clear. My house stays mine, his stays his. I understand (from fabulous advice on here) that this is a good idea and he must not contribute towards my mortgage or house repairs etc. He will be renting out his flat and this will be at a loss as the rent will not fully cover his mortgage, the service charge and the tax he will pay on the rental income (he's a 40% tax payer), however he wants to work towards paying off the mortgage and owning his flat outright. He can't reduce the mortgage as it needs to be paid off at retirement age. He's happy with this.

So my question is, what does he pay towards the running of my house that he is living in? Does he just pay 50% of utilities? Or a 'rent' payment of possibly more than 50% of utilities? Whats fair? We have similar incomes, I have more outgoings with one at uni and animals, he has the loss from the rental income not covering the flats costs.

I would look at the costs that he will be saving:

No council tax - you will loose your single person discount when he moves in.

Gas, Electricity, Water and Broadband - he will not be paying any of those anymore!

The daily service charge alone for gas and electricity is quite expensive.

His monthly food bill - he should contribute this to the household too!

Looking at these in detail may give you an accurate guide… whilst he will perhaps be loosing £400 a month on his mortgage compared to rent he is also gaining a financial asset so the money should be considered as money for savings rather than something to offset against your increased costs!

I think, if I found out my gf posted the same on a forum when I was about to move in with her, I wouldn’t move in.

Surely, when you move in with each other, never mind (or even despite) kids that occasionally come back home, you split everything 50/50.

Yes to mortgages being paid by their respective owners. Surely everything else is shared when you live together?

If his mortgage is 1000 a month and the rent is 800 he only needs to pay tax on a certain portion of the rent not on the whole of the rent that’s paid

Either way - you should ask him to make a proposal?

Certainly half of all bills and food

Exactly. You’d be stuffed.

But he's getting paid rent as he's not living in his property. So should he give half of that to OP?

Yes and no.
Yes the bills should be spilt.
Why shouldn't she benefit from his rental income?
She will also have more wear and tear in her house

I live in a different country than you, but what I once did in the past when I owned the house and a partner was moving in, is to look at what he would be paying minimally for renting a studio apartment in my town to get an idea of what he should pay me besides part of the utilities. Doesn't mean you have to use that exact amount since you're taking everything else into consideration, but it's good to know what he'd be paying as a single tenant as a starting point.

Is there really an imperative for him to move in? If he doesn’t live far, I’d stay in your own houses and stop over at each others in turns. You still ‘live together’ in that you spend each night together (or some apart if you want) but you avoid all the complications.

That's great in the beginning (I'm still at that stage after 12 months with younger kids) but the travelling back and forth and overnight bags gets draining after a while.
I understand the desire to live together. I think it gets an unfair rep on Mumsnet. There never seems to be an acceptable timescale on here. When kids are older, when kids are at uni, etc etc

My DP has just moved into my house.

my mortgage and bills are around £1500 a month.
her mortgage and bills are £300 a month and her rent she receives will be £1100 a month. After tax she will get around £800 so she’s ‘making’ £500 a month.

we have drawn up a cohabitation agreement and a monthly ‘rent’ of £500 goes into a newly set up joint account. I pay for all my normal bills and mortgage, and her £500 is used for groceries , meals out and any short trips etc.

i am protected, she is protected, and neither of us are any worse off financially.