Ill try not to make this long winded, but include all relevant info.
Separated from ex spring last year, have 2 young kids together. Had been with ex for over 14 years, and was COMPLETELY blindsided when I discovered he was cheating. I cant express how much this seemed completely out of character for him and I genuinely had no trust issues up to this point. This is relevant.
Started talking to/seeing someone over last couple of months. They seem lovely and seem to very much wear their heart of their sleeve.
I cannot figure out if my concerns/second guessing is because im not as interested as I think I should be or if im being very guarded.
When we are together we have a lovely time, but when we are not together I find myself constantly wondering if I see this more long term, start to question really small things - is he masculine enough (or tbh as masculine as I was used to - which clearly didn't work anyway....), is he driven enough and so on.
I do come back to the conclusion that im just being guarded, and to try and take it at face value. But I also wonder if this is normal based on my past experience, or would it feel different with someone else, which I dont have anything anything to compare to except ex. Hes different to what im used to which I know isnt a bad thing but does make me question/possibly compare a bit
Sorry if thats a ramble.
TLDR am I overthinking, and is there hope ill be able to fully let my guard down and trust again?! Or am I doomed to second guess forever 🥲