Can the spark return in a long marriage after 25 years?

[Abalon]

NC for this.

Is it possible to rekindle the spark in a long marriage?
I just can’t be arsed having sex with my husband. I’m 50, teenage kids, been together 25 years.

I want to be bothered, we do still sleep together but I’m not hugely enthusiastic and I know it must be crushing for him.

I’m staring relationship counselling (just me) because I’m not ready to say to him ‘honey I won’t be bothered if we never shag again’. And maybe explore if there are any other underlying issues but he’s a good man, a great husband, and a great father. For the most part. No one is perfect!

We do dates nights, we talk, we respect each other so even without sex we’re more than just ‘roommates’.

Do you love him? Even though you can’t be arsed? For me, my love of DP is very much expressed physically (lots of hugs and other contact—not just sex). I find it hard to understand loving someone but not wanting to touch them. Or has the love gone?
Well done for going to counselling, I hope it helps.

Ah yes an obvious omission to my OP. Yes I love him very much, we hug and cuddle loads.

I just don’t desire him.

Have you considererd hrt testosterone

You are 50. You don't need therapy. You need to brush up on biology, that is all. It is normal to lose interest in sex when your reproductive years are behind you.

Have you considered hrt?

It’s normal for libido to wane as eostrogen drops. It doesn’t mean you just have to lump it. Hrt ( inc testosterone as pp said) could help you reclaim it

On HRT but not testosterone which I wouldn’t want to take anyway for other reasons.

I could have written this post in my 50’s.
DH was still interested so I would agree to sex once a week and say make it a quicki!!
Im sure I have a low sex drive and it did make him feel like he was annoying me but I did it for him and would feel relieved it was over for another week. We have been together since we were 20 and have had a good sex life previously.
I was on the verge of leaving and looking for accommodation but then would have a dream about leaving and would wake up sobbing and realised I did love him very much as he has the qualities you expressed about your DH.
Now we are both early 60’s and he’s not fussed anymore and we are happy being good companions. We still laugh and hug and kiss and that seems enough for both of us.
I'm really glad I stayed.
We have had some good chats about it and would have done relationship counselling if needed but we are both happier than we have been in a long time.
Seeing him with the grandkids warms my heart and it would have been sad to miss this period in our life if we’d separated.
All the best to you OP.

Thank you @woolshop that’s kind of you to share. We discuss our plans for when the kids grow up and both of us are looking forward to that part of our lives very much together.
If he were to say he had a ‘mistress’ but wanted to stay in the marriage I think I could get on board with that!

DH was still interested so I would agree to sex once a week and say make it a quicki!!
This was me for over 10 years (I'm early 50s). I didn't say make it quick but I wanted it to be quick.
DH said he felt rejected and unloved.
Finally he left me, but didn't cite lack of sex as a reason (though he did say lack of love and affection, and some other things).