FWBs

[Animals2024]

Sleeping with a man for about a year. Nothing else no commitment etc. He is unpredictable and unreliable, tells me he’s free and then never texts to meet up. Then when it’s convenient will make contact. Will go through spells of consistency and then it’s back to square one, leaving me feeling anxious (which I know sounds ridiculous!). Everything is always on his terms.

I understand he doesn’t need to see me constantly but I feel really annoyed with the lack of effort/unreliability. Am I being unreasonable or is this normal in this situation? I am ready to stop seeing him, but don’t know if I’m overreacting

Well, is he a FWB or do you consider yourself seeing him. The two are incompatible. It sounds like you see this as more than he does. If he's a FWB then it's a convenience thing and you don't owe each other time. If you think you are seeing him that suggests more of a relationship in your mind than the term FWB would lead me to expect. Sounds like you are on different pages to me.

He's not a FWB. He see's you as a FB simples. You are not on the same page. Get a person that treats you as a FRIEND and fuck him. Get shot of this tosser.

Yeah this is not FWB because there is no friendship there. You are his FB/booty call.

If you suggest meeting up for sex, does he make the effort? Or is that you meet only when he wants to?

I don't think this is good for you, regardless, because when you start feeling anxious and needy about someone who literally gives only 1 fuck about you (pun intended) and you want more, it's awful for your self esteem. It can be crazy-making in the end - it's not good for you at all.

Just end it, take some time out to lick your wounds, and then start again with someone who shows you that they care about the mutuality and friendship of a FWB set up.

I had a couple of FWB relationships back in the 80s, before the term was invented! Both were friends first and then we started sleeping together. We did "friends" stuff together first, during and after the sleeping together ended (because both of us started serious relationships with others).

I think - and there's been at least one thread like this on here recently - what you are in is not FWB, OP. You're what I think is called a "booty call" person for him.

Your not friends with benefit your his shag on demand from what you've said.
Absolutely a friend with benefit situation can be mutually enjoyable and beneficial but this one doesn't sound mutually at all.

Thanks everyone you’ve confirmed what I thought. Didn’t know if I was overthinking it

Try the Feeld app. There are plenty more men wanting a FWB and Im sure that many are nicer.

He’ll be sleeping with other women too as you’re not exclusive.

FWB's should be fun. They shouldn't have anyone in distress or questioning themselves. Having the mental capacity for this kind of friendship is also crucial but gets neglected, because it starts off with a casual shag and then becomes something more, and one person wants more than the other and that is usually a relationship.
Having a FWB is like having a moment in life where you enter a bubble for a period of time to indulge whatever it is you want. The BF/GF experience or indulge in sexual fun of one description or another. Crucially both parties have to be on the same page.
If you cannot spend the night or a weekend with someone and have the BF/GF experience and everything that goes with it, the romance, the laughter, the sharing, the fun and the sex and then at the end of the date or weekend completely detach and go back to your normal life then FWB's/FB are not for you.