Why do some partners expect care but not offer it back

[JustDoIt47]

Why us it when they need something we do it. Phone the doctor. Lance the boil. Whatever, but its never reciprocal. Im sick its why dont you call the DR. Why dont you call 111. No offer to do it for me.

I’ve been there, now divorced. What was worse was being told ‘just tell me what you need and then I can help you’, finally being vulnerable and asking for 1 small thing to then be told that ‘it’s too much, I can’t help you’.
There was more to it than that, but that was a recurring theme, I provided and they took

This sounds familiar. Its my fault because I don't tell him to care, help etc etc

Everything is always my fault. He got an appointment date wrong. It was my fault because I must havd told him wrong. Bro, you get the emails from the school same as me. I wrote it in my diary and emailed you a reminder and you still forgot. Now your a hero because you attended while was in A&E dying. After having a rundown of what to discuss.

Doing that would class him as showing caring, and that leads.to him showing horrific things like feelings and not merely grunting. Talking rationally to other people instead of threatening put them in A & E and so on. Reassuringly manly behaviour is what it's about.

Imagine if he started to look after someone other than himself ? Doesn't bear thinking about, does it ?