I'm posting this to get a range of opinions, specifically from ladies who know better. I am not about to leap into anything crazy. This is more about me being intrigued than interested. But that might change...
I'm divorced from my Ex-DW. We have a child. Our child lives with her these days. They are close enough for me to visit, but far enough away that it's not convenient.
I'm on Discord. I'm in a few groups that I engage in. I also chat with DD on Discord quite frequently. Kids, man. They love Discord, hate messaging and loathe phone calls. So we have a back-and-forth on a regular basis. I respect that it's her preferred method of communication when we're not together.
Two months ago, I received a friend request on Discord. This is not unusual. I just accepted it and thought nothing of it. The handle is random enough to be anyone. The following afternoon I received a message from this person, basically just saying, "I'm your Ex-DW, btw." I shrugged. Got on with my day. I thought it was a little weird, but also thought it might be useful to have three-way conversations with DD, should it be necessary. And after thinking about it, I responded with a five-word response that I knew she would find funny because it was a reference to a comedian we both love.
When I mentioned it to DD, she said that her mom claimed that I had initiated the friend request. While my account is obviously me, neither my Ex-DW's or DD's or her friends are. Randomly sending friend requests to my DD's friends would just be weird. And I also have a working memory.
Ten years ago, my Ex-DW was pretty horrible. She blanked me in every possible way. Decided I wasn't allowed in their home. Every phone call devolved into her yelling and shouting at me. She even accused me of spying on her when I was dropping off our kid. I didn't have time to spy because I was in another relationship and heading that way once DD was home safe. We have had minimal contact since. There were even times when she would treat me like a complete stranger, asking questions that she should have known the answer to.
So, cut to a week ago. My Ex-DW reaches out with a question about something in the news. We used to love talking politics and about the news. We used to have identical viewpoints on most things, so this was a common type of conversation we would have. Sometimes, she would leave me voicemails about something she'd heard on the news that day. Well, I thought and thought about it, it being a tricky question with a very dry, academic story behind it, and then I gave her my opinion. To be honest, as is my wont, I wrote a book to her about it. My response had to be detailed. It is what it is. I handled the response as I would handle any response to an acquaintance. No jokes. Just dry responses.
It was only then that I realized that my DD had gone away for a few days. My Ex-DW was, in all likelihood, sitting alone at home.
The next day, she responded asking for more detail and after a few hours, I complied. The conversation went on for five days with a side excursion in reference to pets and our DD. I finished up two days ago with some news about an incident in a city we used to live in. She came back with, "That's insane!" That's an obvious closer to any conversation. I mean, I could find some way to keep it going, but that's a natural end. So I won't.
That's my whole story.
No. There is definitely more. In the last decade, I paid my spousal support and got on with life. She has a pretty good job, but I know that she's not the best with finances and planning for the future. She gets by, but there was always a paycheck to paycheck thing going on when we were married, no matter how much we earned. I don't know, and I don't wish to, but I suspect she hasn't changed. On the other hand, I've maintained that I'm not rich during these last 10 years, precisely for this reason. I'd pay for anything for my DD, but keep it like a business relationship. Basically, I didn't telegraph that I was doing more than just okay. And then earlier this year, I bought myself a new car. Not the most expensive car available, but not the bargain model either. My DD told me that my Ex-DW took an extended interest in this purchase, going as far as to comment on all the features it has. No biggie. People do that stuff. Then I went on a series of vacations throughout the summer, and sent tons of cool photos to DD. She's always asking to see pics. Earlier in the year, I spent a week in a hotel closer to my DD, and we spent several awesome days together. And then a month ago, I went to view an apartment much closer to where Ex-DW and DD live, primarily because I don't like where I live or being too far from DD. I met up with DD after for coffee and we spent a couple of hours catching up on nothing important. I won't be moving yet, but it is going to happen eventually.
So... I'm left with questions. Not huge questions. But why does someone who made our divorce less than amicable, who has made any kind of contact kind of icky for such a long time, suddenly begin a week-long chat about something seemingly random, though definitely tied to my career and interests? I did the gray stone thing on her for years, and I believe that the last time we saw each other was probably 2020. It wasn't a happy meeting. She was still being mean and horrible.
And I'm not reading anything into it, or I wouldn't be asking the question. I actually went through therapy to rid myself of her ghost. It's a much longer story that you don't want to read. I actively tried to exorcise her from my life as much as possible. But I am intrigued as to any motive, if there is one. And I'm aware it's probably nothing, but there is a series of events here.
Should I concoct a response at some time in the next few days? I must admit that being amenable w/r/t sharing a child was always my basic wish. It could be good for my DD's mental health.