How do others cope with 50/50 childcare and loneliness/friendship?

[Autumn2026]

Would love to hear from mum's who share their child 50/50. What do you do with the time you don't have them?

I share my DS 1 week with me, 1 week without me. This was not my choice btw and it kills me I am not in his life half of the time.

Anyway the week I don't have him, I am feeling so so lonely. People around my age have their own families or partners. I am single. I feel like I am forgotten.
I have 2 friends but like i said I has a young family and she is busy with them and the other has just got a new partner so her child free time is with the new partner.

So I am alone on my weekends and evenings. I joined a gym but again i'm alone. I tried meeting up with a woman i'd spoken to online through our online hobby but she ignored me. It is so hard to find people to do things with.

So I guess women who are in a similar position to me, what do you do? How did you make a more sociable life where you did not feel alone?

I’m a dad who co-parents (though I’m the main care giver).

I had a similar experience, and found I was out of synch with my old friends after my relationship broke down.

So what I did do was throw myself into groups and hobbies, got out of my comfort zone and forced myself to meet new people.

So I joined a sea swimming group and a book group. Plus occasional group walk. I’ll also occasionally do a fitness or yoga class (some of the people I know from other groups also do it, which made it a lot easier).

A lot of people from those type of groups are really welcoming, and will invite you along to social stuff also once they get to know you.

Hi OP I’m in the exact same situation (though slightly different childcare arrangements) tbh it’s hard with friendships unless you have a load of single friends. I don’t. I’m going to start trying to connect with other single parents I think.

it’s hard when the majority of friends are doing family stuff a lot of the time.

Hi op, I miss my son when he’d not with me so I really empathize. In your shoes what I think you should do is: work later so you can finish early on your child weeks (if boss allows this flexibility), learn something new one evening eg private swimming lessons or personal trainer or tennis lessons, one night early bedtime, one night batch cook, one evening cleaning with a great pod cast or audio book on, one evening cycle or spin class if dark, and 1-2 evenings get on online dating and go on dates or to singles meet ups to find a new partner to spend child free time with. One evening something creative like art or learn knitting or organizing photos of you and your son into an albums or frames on the wall. One evening on life admin sort out your bills and finances and sell things on Vinted. Follow sologirling on Instagram for more child free time ideas too.

I wonder who invented this 50-50 type of things. How could it be good for kids, without a stable base?

In my experience, men who don’t want to pay maintenance. My ex had nothing to do with the kids before we split!

@Unexpectedlysinglemumgreat suggestions

Do you have a local ladies group, check on FB or Google if you're not sure. Ours is very active with meals out, gigs, events, quiz nights, bingo even a group holiday. Ages range from 18 to over 80 so something for everyone. Great friendship have been made x

But don't the kids still have a "permanent" home so the dad still ends up paying?

My brother certainly is - and he does 50/50

If I had a week or weekend without ds, I used to book all the things I couldn't do with ds around. -:
shoe shopping
a hair cut
a smear test
xmas present shopping
dentist appt
redecorate rooms
paint the fence
catch up on all those jobs that took time and needed both hands.
tried new recipes
batch cooked
Ate food my ds didn't like - fish, spices etc

I ran park run and made friends that way (if you don't run you can walk or volunteer), revisited all my cd collections, went back to reading books, joined the parish council. If I had a whole weekend, I'd visit friends or relatives, or explore an area of the UK I hadn't been before. I'd invite friends over for casual one-pot suppers.

Nope, doesn’t pay a penny.

My sister was in the same position as you years ago but now she's out all the time with new friends. She joined her local Lions group and made some really good friends there, as well as doing a lot for local charities, and also a social group for women. They seem to have lots of people of a similar age who wanted to meet new people and have been great for her. Find a group that have a shared interest and give it a go. Keep doing that until you find likeminded people and build up a new network of friends.

Was this when her children were a bit older? I just feel I can't do anything consistently at the moment. I feel like i'm in limbo because my lives currently are so different. I have looked at group meet ups or events but it always seems to fall on the times I have DS. It is difficult.

I remember this phase when my two were small. It was very isolating.
i initially visited friends for weekends (I have a lot who live a distance away) then a very brief stint on a dating app found me dp and we had weekend adventures after then.

We’re now long distance due to work but I have a group of female friends who have a variety of different circumstances- single, widowed, married but live apart and there’s usually someone who wants to go for a walk or have a meal. Basically I had to just put myself out there and chat to everyone before I found my people.

it was very hard with small DCs and I totally empathise. It will get easier even if that’s hard to imagine right now.

They were still primary school age. The groups she joined were very flexible so she just went she could. She's now made friends with people and sees them away from the groups as and when they can meet as her kids are independent now. Some of the Lions activities are suitable for the kids to join in as well (Santa sleigh, duck race etc).so she was able to do things when she had the kids. You will find something that works so keep looking.