Does my online friend want more or am I reading it wrong ?

[ToostieRoll]

hi, I’m looking for a little advice. After reading a thread on here I’m a bit confused about my own situation and not sure what it is or isn’t.

I’ve been friends with someone online for a couple of years now. We chat occasionally about life, things we’ve been up to, are doing, where we’ve been on holiday etc.

At the beginning it was mainly hi, how you doing kind of things, a bit of joking and banter, there’s never been anything sexual in our chats. We’ve always sent birthday, Christmas, new year greeting etc. When he went in hospital for an operation I messaged wishing him luck and checked in on him to see how he was doing. That kind of thing.

Over the past 6 months though I’ve noticed he’s become more flirty shall I say? I can’t say I noticed this before really. But there’s more hearts now and kissing emojis on my posts, comments, pictures. He always puts 2 kisses on the end of his chats to me. I hadn’t noticed that before? He also jokingly said he doesn’t have my number, so I asked if he wanted it and he said yes he’d like to. He messaged me his and I sent him mine. We haven’t texted or phoned each other though.
We chat via messenger.

I haven’t dated in a long long time. And was in a long marriage that unfortunately ended quite badly, so have not been looking or interested in anything romantic in the least.
Am I missing something here? Is he trying to see if I’m interested? He knows I’m single and he’s been divorced for many years. But we haven’t discussed anything more than that regarding relationships. He will have seen though when I changed my profile to single, which I didn’t do for a long time after separation..

This is so far out of my comfort zone, Am I reading too much into this 🥴🫪 Please help with your words of wisdom 🙏🏼

Pretty much this 😂
I became a full on detective with my ex 🥴

Those asking why I’ve never met him? It’s only in the past few months that his ‘attention’ towards me appears to have shifted. I’ve got talking and become ‘online friends’ penpals I guess to lots of people on line over the years via online games that I used to play years ago that I’ve never met.

My BS radar is pretty high now and may just be at a point in my life where I’m lowering the wall I built around me a little, I’m not sure?

I did think about asking if he fancied meeting for coffee a couple of weeks ago but I chickened out. Maybe that tells me I’m not ready?

OP, it seems you are determined to interpret this as a potential romance with no red flags. Do what you must, I guess, but proceed with caution.

The fact that you are asking strangers online how to tell whether you’re ready to date suggests you are vulnerable, as not only do you not know what feels safe or what you’re ready for, you don’t know to tell what you feel.

The fact you have had a lot of online penpals over the years also suggests to me your BS radar isn’t as high as you think it is, and the wall you’ve built around yourself is there for a good reason. Most people don’t have a whole lot of online only friendships with people they’ve never met.

Haha women analysing single men from their Facebook updates or LinkedIn are better than the FBI!

I'm quite experienced at online dating and also often met friends from online (I'm geek squad).

Essentially "you win some you lose some". Nerves are usual.

I've had some great and joyous friendships and dates from online, and also met some very strange people.

And a lot which just fizzle out or are disappointing or don't go anywhere which is also fine.

It's much more likely to be "a bit shit" than anything crazy.

As long as you put the boundaries in - meet somewhere public and neutral, have your own transport and money,.... it's not really that high risk.

Have low expectations (don't commit to meeting for more than 1-2 hours) and if you get on you can meet again.

He might not even agree or commit to a meet, in which case that's also data and information and you can move on emotionally.

It does sound you're possibly ready to open up your social/dating life a bit?

You don't have to go to extremes or have another full-time relationship like your ex. You can just meet new people and have a bit of chemistry.

As a pp said you can set the rules about what you feel comfortable with.

Maybe not now as most of my male friends use kisses at the end of their messages with me (another male).

I noticed this shift during the pandemic.

But plenty of women who I am friendly with also do this. It doesn’t mean anything.