Why am I crying before a date after leaving my long relationship? Am i trauma bonded

[Dancemom1]

I need help,
ive been separated a year after leaving my lt partner of 18 years & kids father.
he was an emotionally abusive narc and I didn’t even realise.
anyway ive been messaging a guy and had a nice date, and meant to be meeting later.
my kids have just been picked up by their dad and i got myself some food put music on, now i cant stop crying. Cant eat my food.
I don’t know whats going on as i never cry never cried through relationship or when i left
I know its too late to cancel now.

You’re not ready, OP. And that’s okay.

Maybe it's just a bit of grieving of the old relationship or that things didn't work out, even though you now know it was never going to work.
I think it's normal enough to have some emotional upheaval. But you are moving forward. Be kind to yourself. Wash your face, touch up your makeup , and go enjoy the date

Bless you. 18 years is a long time to have been with a man. Subconsciously you are maybe feeling like theres an unfairness in how things panned out.
Dont cancel, head out and tell yourself all you need to do is be curious and spend 2 hours with someone who could turn out to be interesting.
Then come and tell us nosy lot about it ☺️

Thank you @Bananavibez i will do, better than a night in alone haha

Thats the spirit! And even if he turns out to be a total weirdo (very unlikely), you'll have a story to tell at least. What are you going to wear?
I went on 3 dates with 3 different guys after my breakup, and struck gold on the third one, hes now my partner. But the other 2 dates were both really nice guys and I had a nice time with them too.