I just ended a 5 month "thing" but I'm after validation that I did the right thing I suppose.
It's been quite good until it came to the sex part. There were some red flags, he said some arrogant stuff on the second date and some other noticeable things that I logged in my brain bank. But no sex, no erection. He is 65, I am 60, so I do understand that it can be a problem for older men, my previous partner never had any problems though and he was early sixties.
We have talked about it. He says he will get it checked out but he also said that he's not that bothered about sex and hasn't been for around 10 years, if not longer. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose me. He has been single for 5 years. He thinks I am "insatiable" because I always want to try, but it's only because I found him insanely attractive. At first anyway. And I have a healthy sex drive still.
I have slowly introduced toys and he does try to please me in other ways but it still feels lacking, sadly. Like a half hearted one way street that ends in pfffffffffffffft nothing.
It's really bad of me but I ended up snooping on his phone as I saw on social media he was following an odd looking page. So he's looking at a lot of material that involves very young women getting subjugated, lots of quite aggressive hair pulling, holding their heads and arms down, spanking. It must be mild enough to be on FB and Instagram as he doesn't seem to access much porn. A lot of these girls are dressed in very short skirts. There is a big Asian girl theme, lots of girls dressed very scantily and bending over to have their hair pulled and then spanked.
He is following a lot of these young girls on FB as well. He was also Googling for Asian and blonde prostitutes. I asked him and he said he had gone to a prostitute a long time ago, but only once and he has never done it again.
I asked him if he was visiting sex workers now. He said no, and I quote, "what would be the point if I can't get an erection". He said he doesn't even masturbate very often, but that he found it difficult to sustain an erection in real life. I have dressed up and worn lovely lingerie but it made no difference so in my head he seems to have a very young Asian girl subjugation fetish as well as prostitution and I don't trust that he isn't using sex workers right now.
He's ringing and ringing and I just can't be arsed. I've dodged a bullet, haven't I?