I’m in love with someone I can’t trust. been with him around 10 years. found him on dating sites upwards of 20 times, not in past couple of years though. he’s been watching things on YouTube I don’t like, a channel where a guy asks scantily clad women if they prefer front or back door?, he said it’s my issue because if it was bad they wouldn’t allow it on youtube. have also found searches on his iPad for dirty kik girls. my self esteem is very low and I need to have a preventative mastectomy so it will be even lower. I just feel addicted to this man and I get panicky when I think of my life without him. he’s the funniest person I’ve met and makes me smile. he’s not very emotionally supportive and when my dad was passing away with cancer he said ‘he won’t need his money where he’s going’. I don’t know why I can’t break away. I’m very depressed atm and am worried about my future so it does help having him around because he helps me and makes me smile.