Have you ever written an unsent letter to unblock difficult feelings?

[Sidebeforeself]

Has anyone ever done the thing where you wrote a letter to get your feelings out but never send it? Does it actually work? I’m struggling with feelings of guilt relating to my late Mum . I will often “ talk” to her in my head but this doesn’t seem to be helping. But I can’t realistically see what difference writing it down would make.

Interestd to hear if you’ve done it did it help and why? Or if it didn’t help

Journaling, whether it’s on letter form or just writing all your thoughts down, can be really helpful. I do feel lighter afterwards.
I also upload some to ChatGPT and ask it for advice.
Try it. It can’t really do any harm. Just make sure it’s kept somewhere private.

I've done it a few times. It helps to see my feelings out in the open. I never send them but it does feel like a relief after the letter has been written

Yes. It’s in my notes to send when she eventually gets back in contact. She has a habit of this every three years or so. Lol.

Yes I have. To my parents. It was cathartic and it helped a lot. I destroyed it after I'd written it.

Yes but I never felt the relieve….

I wrote a letter to a friend after the breakdown of the friendship. I didn't send it but kept and reread it from time to time. I found it really therapeutic and validating to see how very hurt and angry I was, and it helped me to see that the breakup was actually the best outcome for me. I recommend doing it

i have a lot of guilt though. If I write it down my Mum still can’t forgive me ?

It's you who has to forgive you. I agree with a PP, try writing it out on AI. I've used it for all sorts and discovered things on there that supposed therapy hasn't been able to tell me for donkeys years!

I don’t find it helpful but lots of people do. For me it makes me remember too many things and rant about them on paper and overthink everything worse than before I wrote it.

Yes I did this on the advice of a counsellor to deal with some isdues I had with my late mother. It helped me. I later ripped it up as I didn't feel.like I needed it anymore

I do find Chatgtp useful in these sorts of things. I don't use it for anything else but do for working through difficult things that are giving me anxiety.
You can put in why you feel guilt and 'talk' to it

OP I have a difficult relationship with my father. Deep down I've always known he doesn't like me (certainly doesn't love me) but he's finally said it out loud now he has dementia. The problem is he has forgotten he's said it and behaves as everything is OK, I think because the staff in his care home remind him how much we do for him. But he will be incredibly rude to me on the phone and accuse me of all sorts of things he imagines I've done and tells other people about these things as if it's fact. So I write down what I'd like to say to him to get it out of my head, delete and then get on with my life until the next time. It helps, it really does. So give it a try and hopefully you'll come to a place of peace and will be able to forgive yourself for whatever it is you think needs forgiveness.

I wrote a long lengthy letter to MIL in reply to a cringing letter she wrote me . Sorry not sorry type of thing . I was furious and raced through it . But kept it hidden next to her letter . About a month afterwards I got both and destroyed them . Good job really as both would mean we could never ever talk again . I was civil for the rest of my time with her .