Running out of time

Justaquestionplease · 14/09/2026 21:35

Are you dating op? If I was in your position be looking for a relationship as if I was looking for a job.

Agatha1989 · 14/09/2026 21:58

It not too late. Actively start seeking a partner who also wants a child. You might have to date a few wrong ‘uns but don’t give up hope. My niece met her partner aged 40 and they had their baby boy last Friday, they have been together just over 18 months.

NotArrogantJustCocky · 14/09/2026 22:01

Clarentine · 14/09/2026 21:31

I am 38 and want marriage and a baby but I am single. I can't go it alone due to finances and not having a suitable home. It is overwhelmingly stressful and anxiety inducing. I never had the opportunity to do so, but I would have loved to.

Oh darling, sending huge hugs. Please don't panic this sounds like a classic case of Kleine-Levin Syndrome. It’s a neurological condition that alters your perception of reality and timelines, making you feel completely trapped and panicked about time running out.

Your anxiety isn't a failure, it’s a medical symptom. Get an urgent GP appointment on Monday and ask for a referral to a neurological sleep and timeline specialist. You've got this

SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes · 14/09/2026 22:04

NotArrogantJustCocky · 14/09/2026 22:01

Oh darling, sending huge hugs. Please don't panic this sounds like a classic case of Kleine-Levin Syndrome. It’s a neurological condition that alters your perception of reality and timelines, making you feel completely trapped and panicked about time running out.

Your anxiety isn't a failure, it’s a medical symptom. Get an urgent GP appointment on Monday and ask for a referral to a neurological sleep and timeline specialist. You've got this

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What the fuck??

NotArrogantJustCocky · 14/09/2026 22:04

SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes · 14/09/2026 22:04

What the fuck??

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textbook symptoms

Original poster

Clarentine · 14/09/2026 22:06

NotArrogantJustCocky · 14/09/2026 22:01

Oh darling, sending huge hugs. Please don't panic this sounds like a classic case of Kleine-Levin Syndrome. It’s a neurological condition that alters your perception of reality and timelines, making you feel completely trapped and panicked about time running out.

Your anxiety isn't a failure, it’s a medical symptom. Get an urgent GP appointment on Monday and ask for a referral to a neurological sleep and timeline specialist. You've got this

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Oh dear.

OP posts:

Arlanymor · 14/09/2026 22:06

NotArrogantJustCocky · 14/09/2026 22:04

textbook symptoms

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Not remotely, it's about recurring episodes of extreme excessive sleep - which have not been mentioned here at all. Please don't be a cod doctor on MN.

SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes · 14/09/2026 22:07

Do you have any gay friends who might want to have a child and coparent with you?

mondaytosunday · 14/09/2026 22:11

I met my DH at 39 through an introduction agency (online wasn’t a thing then). Married at 40 two kids followed!

cucumber4745 · 14/09/2026 22:27

This is how I felt at 32 plus got told I probably won’t be able to have children. I was considering solo IVF. 3 weeks after I was given these news I met an almost 38 old man, who also always wanted a family but didn’t think it will happen for him and he will die alone etc. Well, he won’t- we are expecting our baby any minute now. It wasn’t exactly planned either.

Things in your 30s and 40s happen much faster if you meet somebody on the same page. And the way to do that is to have reali expectations and filter out the wrong men quick! I wasted my 20s and and very early 30s to men who had no clue what they want. They said the right things but their actions didn’t match.

Your time will never be as valuable to a man as it is to you. But the ones who are serious will show it very early on.

Dovesono · 14/09/2026 22:40

NotArrogantJustCocky · 14/09/2026 22:01

Oh darling, sending huge hugs. Please don't panic this sounds like a classic case of Kleine-Levin Syndrome. It’s a neurological condition that alters your perception of reality and timelines, making you feel completely trapped and panicked about time running out.

Your anxiety isn't a failure, it’s a medical symptom. Get an urgent GP appointment on Monday and ask for a referral to a neurological sleep and timeline specialist. You've got this

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Eh? Time is running out of you're 38 and single and you want to get married and have children.

Original poster

Clarentine · 15/09/2026 09:54

cucumber4745 · 14/09/2026 22:27

This is how I felt at 32 plus got told I probably won’t be able to have children. I was considering solo IVF. 3 weeks after I was given these news I met an almost 38 old man, who also always wanted a family but didn’t think it will happen for him and he will die alone etc. Well, he won’t- we are expecting our baby any minute now. It wasn’t exactly planned either.

Things in your 30s and 40s happen much faster if you meet somebody on the same page. And the way to do that is to have reali expectations and filter out the wrong men quick! I wasted my 20s and and very early 30s to men who had no clue what they want. They said the right things but their actions didn’t match.

Your time will never be as valuable to a man as it is to you. But the ones who are serious will show it very early on.

How old are you now? I feel there's a big difference fertility wise between 32 and 38.

OP posts:

cucumber4745 · 15/09/2026 23:06

Clarentine · 15/09/2026 09:54

How old are you now? I feel there's a big difference fertility wise between 32 and 38.

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I am 33, my mother went into menopause at 39 and my grandmother at 36. When I tested my AMH at 30 it was 0.3 what you might expect of someone who is 40+. That’s why I was told egg freezing is a gamble and conception may not happen. Few doctors told me there is a good chance I will be in the menopause in my mid 30s.. My last two periods before conceiving were 17 days.. My sister on the other hand met her partner at 34 and had kids at 37 and 40, my cousin at 42.

I conceived very early in a new relationship accidentally, but was going to keep the baby regardless..

The thing is you can never know. If you keep dating intentionally you have a chance. If you give up, then certainly it won’t happen

Fondmemories · 15/09/2026 23:09

SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes · 14/09/2026 22:04

What the fuck??

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My thoughts exactly.

Fondmemories · 15/09/2026 23:12

My sister met someone at 38 and got pregnant within a year. She had her second child at nearly 46. Don't lose hope.

AlgaeDreams · 15/09/2026 23:16

I was 21 and ended up as a single parent with zero finances and a less than ideal home (in 50s now!). That part of it, you just get on with what you have.
Also at 38 you still have a good few years. As someone posted upthread, treat your dating like a job search and advertise straight away - must want children. No point wasting 2 years in hope...

Original poster

Clarentine · 15/09/2026 23:18

cucumber4745 · 15/09/2026 23:06

I am 33, my mother went into menopause at 39 and my grandmother at 36. When I tested my AMH at 30 it was 0.3 what you might expect of someone who is 40+. That’s why I was told egg freezing is a gamble and conception may not happen. Few doctors told me there is a good chance I will be in the menopause in my mid 30s.. My last two periods before conceiving were 17 days.. My sister on the other hand met her partner at 34 and had kids at 37 and 40, my cousin at 42.

I conceived very early in a new relationship accidentally, but was going to keep the baby regardless..

The thing is you can never know. If you keep dating intentionally you have a chance. If you give up, then certainly it won’t happen

Edited

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I see. I have a similar family history actually. My mum was in menopause at 38 (My age now), I did have a blood test which came back normal on the hormone side but I know you can't diagnose menopause from a blood test as they fluctuate daily. I just wish something good would happen but I have to be realistic as I'm only getting older. I also have subclinical hypothyroidism which my doctor won't treat as apparently I tested negative for TPO antibodies. Anyway, I'm glad it worked out for you. I wish you the very best and thanks for replying.

OP posts:

cucumber4745 · 15/09/2026 23:24

Clarentine · 15/09/2026 23:18

I see. I have a similar family history actually. My mum was in menopause at 38 (My age now), I did have a blood test which came back normal on the hormone side but I know you can't diagnose menopause from a blood test as they fluctuate daily. I just wish something good would happen but I have to be realistic as I'm only getting older. I also have subclinical hypothyroidism which my doctor won't treat as apparently I tested negative for TPO antibodies. Anyway, I'm glad it worked out for you. I wish you the very best and thanks for replying.

Edited

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I have the thyroid issue too. And same they refused to threat it until I got a private prescription and broke down in the GP office. He eventually put me on the meds although lower dose! That does help to regulate ovulation.

Are you dating? There are men out there who feel the same and won’t want to waste years. It is just finding them that can get hard

Original poster

Clarentine · 15/09/2026 23:29

No I'm not dating as no men ask me out and even when I was on the dating apps they still didn't ask me out. When I did ask them out it never ended well (e.g. non commital responses or cancelling last minute). I don't really like online dating as they often lied about their height and the lying bothers me. Most of the dates I have been on the guy doesn't feel a spark or want to see me again.

OP posts:

cucumber4745 · 16/09/2026 07:56

Clarentine · 15/09/2026 23:29

No I'm not dating as no men ask me out and even when I was on the dating apps they still didn't ask me out. When I did ask them out it never ended well (e.g. non commital responses or cancelling last minute). I don't really like online dating as they often lied about their height and the lying bothers me. Most of the dates I have been on the guy doesn't feel a spark or want to see me again.

Edited

Have you tried changing your approach?

with online dating I was very clear on my profile what I am looking for. If I didn’t have a date set within a week of matching, I wouldn’t bother. Some people are interested some not. It is number games.

Also, do you have any hobbies? Joining a hiking group etc often leads to introductions.

edited to say, I sympathise. I really do. It is horrible out there. If my relationship doesn’t work out I am so done.. I won’t be dating again.

While there is hope, the reality is doesn’t always work out and sometimes the answer is grieving the life you thought you would have at this stage and the future you thought you would have.

What hurts you more, is it the prospect of not being married or not having children?

frozendaisy · 16/09/2026 08:46

Get out and about

Go to open mic nights
art gallery show openings
small music venues
read a newspaper in your local

use your local area and do as much out of your house where people are in a social mood and get chatting

focus you time and energy on your job/career in between going out, keeps you busy and helps you financially

You might not get marriage and children - some don’t it’s a choice for some and never happened for others
if it doesn’t happen for you then to live a life you will have to find another path, passion which you can have reasons to still enjoy living for

GreyCarpet · 16/09/2026 10:03

What does your life look like?

Friends? Hobbies? Work? Etc

What are your interests? What's important to you?

You might get some good suggestions/ideas if you can answer these.

Eg if you wfh and only leave the house to go food shopping, youre not going to meet anyone!

AppleAndBannans · 17/09/2026 07:53

NotArrogantJustCocky · 14/09/2026 22:01

Oh darling, sending huge hugs. Please don't panic this sounds like a classic case of Kleine-Levin Syndrome. It’s a neurological condition that alters your perception of reality and timelines, making you feel completely trapped and panicked about time running out.

Your anxiety isn't a failure, it’s a medical symptom. Get an urgent GP appointment on Monday and ask for a referral to a neurological sleep and timeline specialist. You've got this

Show quote history

What utter nonsense