Am I unreasonable to mind my husband putting dates with his mistress on the calendar

[Adviceseeker35]

I'm separated from my husband after he left me in February. I then found out in June that he'd been having an affair since April 2025. We still live together. He's now started putting their dates on the family calendar with their initials clear for our son to see. He's claiming that I asked him to tell me when He's seeing her, and can't see that he's doing anything wrong. He thinks I'm overreacting. I feel like his rubbing his relationship in my face. They only good thing that it reminds me that I'm well shot of him.

Tell him to go sleep in the fucking car! (And we all hope the handbrake fails and he rolls into the canal)

God he’s vile. Why can’t he sleep in the car as per his suggestion?

Why would he need to sleep in the car? Does he still sleep in the bed with you..?

Victim points...

Great, let him.

He left you but he still lives with you, yeah I'd be annoyed too.

Hold on, he said he'd sleep in the car? Where does he normally sleep? Please don't tell me he shares the bed still - otherwise why would sleeping in the car be any different to downstairs on the sofa or wherever

I hope your response was - that thats a great idea. He is an absolute prick isn’t he!! He could just put ‘out’ like any other normal human being. Is he really that fucking thick he can’t see what he is doing to his DC.

When can you kick him out?

His affair partner is married/cohabiting, presumably.

What a cock. Can you kick him out?

Good sleep in the car then. Nobody cares 🙄

He has his own room. I just cant even look at him.

He's an expert at playing the victim. He's blamed everyone for his affair bar himself. I know if he slept in the car I would abuse from the in laws, except my brother in law and his wife.

I know I'm not being unreasonable but he's gaslighted me for so long I doubt myself. When I suspected an affair, I ended up apologising to him as I still trusted him and he was very convincing. he told me he wasn't responsible for my insecurities.

What are you doing about divorcing and living separately?

Appointment tomorrow with solicitor to work out the first stage.

Ok, why do you need to know when he is seeing her and how would you like this communicated ro you? The relationship is done. The issue seems to be not that he’s telling you, but his method of doing so, ?

The only reason I want to know what he's up to us our son. If there is an emergency he's hours away. He's lied for months pretending to be at work but has been over 4 hours away.

He could just put he was out or used the code he used before the affair which is what I suggested. He just can't see that putting their initials is a slap in the face.

Why on earth do you still live together?

He's refusing to leave and legally I can't make it. I can't afford to. Not until the house is sold. He earns nearly double my salary.

Why can’t he go and live with his parents?

He is playing mind games with you.

Sorry op hes a shit. I don’t think I could help myself not to add a few dates to the calendar.

“Peter 🍆 “ and take myself to the pictures four the evening!!

Let him

I’d be making up wicked names from the initials AW arse wiffy…etc.. you get the point …sure pp can help with that ;)

You can phone him. If it’s an emergency with your child I’d like to hope he’s come and have no reason to lie. If he’s miles away it won’t make any difference if it was in a calendar.
Just delete the bloody thing

Very insensitive and disrespectful, I’m so sorry you are dealing with this and hope you are able to live apart soon.

great outcome