How do people cope when their child comes home from their dads, and tells you all the things that their dad has said to them/ways they’ve been spoken too that bring back all the memories as to why you left?
Context- me (F) and my children’s dad (M) were together for 12 years, have to kids together M9 and F5. Me ex is a horrendous narcissist who completely stripped me of my identity and confidence, to a point where I was completely unrecognisable by the end. He has the children every other weekend, that’s it, no evenings, not even a phone call in the week. 2 days out of 14 and the rest of the time they may not as well even exists to him, and you know what I’m fine with that, because when they come back from his they are so disregarded it’s unreal.
this weekend my son M9 has been bawling over how his dad has been speaking to him all weekend, telling him how to feel/think about things. He told me incidents where his dad has spoken to awfully, he is a compelled shell of himself, and I am heartbroken for him. I’m crying my eyes out, because I know finally understand the saying “I escaped but they haven’t”. What am I meant to do in this situation? How am I meant to keep allowing this contact when it’s causing so much damage. Does anyone have any advice?