Am I unreasonable to expect them to clean bathroom mess?

[PaperMachePanda]

Urgh.

Settle something will you please.

I live in a house full of boys, men and assorted idiots.

Problem is they all make a mess of the bathroom. None of them can hit the bowl when they pee. I usually clean it up but today I reached the end of my tether and had a word (not a shout, a word) and told them they all needed to do better.

Instead of saying yes, sure, fine, sorry. I was met with a barrage of 'it wasn't me'. I then left it but my husband followed me in to the next room and started up the 'it wasn't me again' so I told him I don't care who makes the mess just clean the sodding bathroom. My husband then stormed out of the house like a man baby (so I guess I know who the main culprit is now! lol) and I'm left sitting here thinking WTF. Just clean up the pee!

They all think I'm the devil right now and it's utterly ridiculous. I have no plans to sooth my husband when he gets back in by the way and the kids have all been told to sulk in the garden while I have a cup of tea.

I'm not wrong for not wanting to live in a disgusting house am I?

Do you have more than one loo? I’d claim that one and tell them they can use and clean ‘their’ loo? Or pot a ping pong ball down the loo for them to aim at… it worked when toilet training my son when he was 3 🙈🤣.

Also had a house full of males at one point . Taught them all that they can actually sit down to pee - problem solved

Yuck. My husband doesn’t do this and if he did? He’d be banished from our en-suite.

You can buy stickers for kids to help them with their aim. They want to act like kids then they get treated like kids. Or if you have 2 bathrooms then take one for yourself and ban them from it.

We have had similar threads anout some men's disgusting behaviour in the lavatory before OP.
This is not normal behaviour by men and boys OP. This is only behavior by men and boys who.have no standards of hygiene and who actively see women as only servants to clean up after them. They have absolutely no respect for you.

Do not clean up after them and pleaselisten to the message of absolute disdain and contempt they are sending to you by this behaviour

My SIL expected and accepted this dirty behaviour from her sons and husband. Her sons never lifted the seat, flushed or washed their hands. I don't put up with any nonsense of that kind and if they used the toilet at my house I'd check it afterwards and tell them to clean it up if they'd missed the bowl. They soon learned. My SIL always looked very embarrassed and like she'd love to kill me. My other nephew was brought up to be clean and considerate, as was my own son.

Are they his sons? If so, from now on he cleans it up or teaches his sons better manners. I send my 5yo back in to clean up after himself.

Make the bathroom their chore, they'll soon bitch eachother into compliance if they're having to wipe up their brothers stale piss.

We have a boys’ bathroom in our house, I don’t use it, I don’t clean it.

Yanbu, we had a spate of this for a while. My dp took to standing outside the bathroom door when the boys went in to check they'd cleaned up after themselves, if they hadn't they got sent back into sort it. After that we've not had an issue since.

I also live in a house full of boys, three children one man child - same. I despair. No one uses a toilet brush, I have two prolific non seat lifters, hit and miss if it’s flushed.

we have four toilets which some may think is a good send, but it’s not. I could go days without using one or two.

I find generally just being the only female exhausting, for many reasons

How does “It wasn’t me” work? It wasn’t you either. I assume as a wife and mother you do things for them that you don’t benefit from, they need to take that onboard.

People in any community - including a family - sometimes have to do things they don’t feel responsible for or connected to, either because it wasn’t me who did it or the outcome won’t benefit me. It’s basic collaborative citizenship. In a family it’s also a loving gesture to people you care about.

How old are your sons?

I have asked mine if they think its fair for me to be the one wiping up the pee when its definitely not mine (husband and 2 sons). Have now made cleaning the main bathroom a job for husband and 12 year old. Its defo the kids as my husband and I don't use the main bathroom - we use downstairs loo and en suite so easy to pin down the culprits!

Fucking disgusting, Man. And boys. I would make them go back every single time, and clean up their piss.

The above is a good idea, that they take full responsibility for cleaning the bathroom, on a rotor. So it is cleaned every single day. Until they can behave better.

Thanks all. I've tried the sticker stuff. Didn't work. I'm going to put a cork in the loo and see if that works.

I have now claimed a bathroom though and put a lock on it. They're all moaning. Tough!

Husband is back. No apology still sulking. Told him looks like an idiot. He eventually said he'd take responsibility for the main bathroom and teaching the boys better habits (which he should be doing anyway!) because I'm now not cleaning it again ever. We shall see what happens.

Vile. I have 3 brothers and a father and the bathroom was spotless growing up.

I have a DH and 3 teen boys living in my house and if they make a mess they clean it up. I make it easier for them by leaving a bleach spray under the basin cupboard. They know not to leave any bathroom in a mess.

Rub their noses in it.

Dirty, smelly, piggy men 🤮

All the males in my house sit down to wee and clean up after themselves. Only the 4 year old needs a little supervision sometimes even then his is pretty good.

I would view this as some serious disrespect from my oh I would be very serious that he either changes or we no longer live together. Life's too short to be cleaning up other adults poo or wee. You don't mention the other males ages or if they are sons but if they are adults then same for them.

Your husband and sons are misogynists who think cleaning up their urine is beneath them, it's women's work. You cleaning it up reinforced that mindset.

Good for you putting a lock on your bathroom door and refusing to clean up after them.

They're gross. Sorry, but I lived in a multigenerational household with a brother and grandfather and there was never urine splashed around. Nobody was above cleaning up after themselves.

Absolutely not, it’s just laziness, no woman should have to clean up a mans piss, i would show them how to do it and say if you leave it in that state again i’ll use your favourite t-shirt to mop it up with.

My two sons were never the tiniest in their bedrooms but they never left the loo in a mess. Neither did their dad. There is absolutely no need. They have to go to college and share accommodation with other students etc. Hopefully your dh will cop on from here on in.

@PaperMachePandathis isn’t any help but the phrase “Boys, men and assorted idiots” made me spit out my drink!

Only one male in our household, but in 24 years I've never seen a spot of urine on the floor. It's a choice

I am the only female in this house. Dh is very clean and tidy and if he ever did miss I never knew about it because the toilet and bathroom is always clean.

I have two sons, I taught them to sit to pee, better for bladder emptying anyway and they put the lid down, flush then check the toilet to make sure nothing is left behind. Then they wash their hands, really well.

Even as a woman I always check a toilet when I have finished using it. I like to leave it as I find it.

My sons are 23 and 20 and their shared bathroom is very clean because growing up I would not accept anything less from them.

OP I wonder if they all piss all over the seat and floor at any other location or if they just know you will clean up their piss at home. They need to learn to check the toilet after they have used it. Put a sign up on the door to remind them if they are young.

How old are the kids?
Mine were taught from a very early age to have a look around before they leave the bathroom or toilet to nake sure it"s " tidy" i.e. no puddles or skid marks left.
If it is reinforced from being very young consistently they usually keep it clean.