Not sure how to feel love

[Msgiggles30]

I don't really know how to explain this but I'm not sure I know how to feel love. I've never really felt intense love towards anyone even though I'm really close to my family but I care for people, worry about them, help them out etc but don't feel the rush of love.

This has been highlighted by having a child as i thought i would feel this for them. I adore my child, so proud of them, enjoy spending time with them and talking about them, I am affectionate physically and emotionally but just do not feel this gushy love that others seem.to? For example being emotional about them growing up etc I just don't seem to feel that. I'm questioning if I'm neurodivergent ( many things this not just this) or is this just how 'love' is for some people?
Thank you!

Sometimes you don't realise you feel love until it is tested (someone dies for example)

Maybe you're just cold some people are

I don’t think getting emotional over the children growing up is an indication of love, i think it’s an overstimulation of the senses, it’s easy to describe lust but it’s very difficult to describe love as what defines love can be different for everyone.

For me it’s about wanting to be with someone, caring for them, wanting to share everything with them, worrying about them, knowing you would do anything for them, feeling like part of you is missing when they aren’t around.

I don't think the feeling of 'love' can be defined. It's different for everyone. I also question if people who publicly gush over their loved ones really do feel that intensity or they're over-emphasising it for others. Personally, I don't think I've ever been intensely in love with a partner. I thought I was once. But the intensity probably arose from the narcissistic abuse and wasn't actually real or healthy. I love my child unconditionally. It doesn't feel intense, it's just there and feels right. Doesn't mean I don't think she's an arsehole sometimes 😂

Ps I think getting 😭 over them growing up is moronic and or faked

I know a couple of women who have openly hated motherhood who now pretend to be tearful as nest emptying approaches

Agree on the partner front I don't think I've ever loved intensely! Tbh I could take or leave a romantic relationship never really been bothered 🤣 . I suppose growing up my parents weren't overly 'loving' and huggy etc but we were well looked after and I know they'd do anything for us. So yes maybe I'm just more of a practical love person as I'm always the person people come to for help or advice etc. I love it when my daughter does new things and sharing that with others and the time together. Maybe I'm overthinking it..

I don't know how you'd define it exactly, but if you'd if you value their life more than your own, that's a pretty good indicator imo.

I totally agree. Normally it’s the ones who are constantly claiming that their kids are their world but they happily palm them off to grandparents at every opportunity.

OP everything you’ve described shows you absolutely do feel love.

Thank you 😊