Recently separated and worried my husband may stop seeing our son

[Ejs890011]

Husband and I have official separated the other day.
I wonder if he is going to be a dead beat dad now.
basically when things are fine in our relationship he is a good dad.
but second anything negative he barely cuddles our son.
i went to my house to collect remaining stuff. And he chucked everything to with our son e.g. plates, bowls even bath toys in bags for me to take.

now we have been apart for 4 days and he hasn’t even asked to see his son, I said I will meet him at the pub tomorrow to see his son but if he doesn’t turn up in 30 mins I will go. I am trying to give him a chance to communicate with his son. Our son is 13 months old btw

do you actually think he will bother to see his son in the future?

Sadly no, I don't. I think it won't be long before he has no part in his life at all. And given he withholds affection when he's grumpy that's probably for the best.

As hard as it is you need to let the chips fall where they may. Do not do all the running around and bending over backwards for him to see his son. You might think you are doing it for your son but it will not benefit him in the long run.

If he's going to be a dead beat it's best he does it now when your son is young. The constant in and out and let downs as your child grows will damage him way more.

It might be a gift to you in the long term if he does have minimal involvement. Not very nice for the little one, but at 13 months he won’t remember ever living with his mum and dad together. Sometimes having a stable home just with mum is far better than being used as a pawn in some elaborate scheme to upset mum and play with power, as so many men seem to do.
Why did you choose a pub as the best place to meet to discuss arrangements for a one year old? Is that the only place ex would agree to meet?

Noone can know, but you can state this or something like it and see what happens:

"Our son needs a predictable relationship with both of us. Please tell me what regular contact and care you propose. I suggest X and Y. I’m willing to make reasonable arrangements, but I won’t be responsible for repeatedly prompting you."