Separating and mother leaving the home rather than the usual situation where the man leaves

[NeverIdealbutOptimised]

I know it’s never ideal but when a relationship breaks down if it is the woman who leaves the family home how can the situation be made as easy as possible for all involved ?

How do you explain to children? I know in most cases the male partner will leave and have contact but sometimes it has to be the woman.

Has anyone left and how did you manage it to make it the least traumatic as possible.

To clarify, do you mean that the children would be staying in the family home with the father being their main caregiver and main residence?

Yes

Is it that you want to leave or you know someone, or are you the husband? If the woman was primary caregiver then a lot is going to have to change. If she was abusive then the children will find it easier anyway.

I know it shouldn’t really matter which way round it is (I mean whether it is the Mum or the Dad who becomes the main caregiver)…. However, in reality I think people find it more shocking to think of the Mum leaving and having minority of contact. I have a few friends who were in this situation so were mainly brought up by their dads, and I think it affected them psychologically in that it made them feel a bit rejected by the mum, even though they still had contact with the mums and things seemed okay on the surface.
So I think my advice to a Mum doing this would be that you would really need to make it clear to your DC that you are not leaving them. Though you kind of are. So you would probably have to emphasise the practical reason behind it, and maybe pitch it in that they are staying in their family home for their own security and you don’t want to drag them out of that too much for contact.
However, I can’t imagine being a Mum who would settle for less than 50% of contact.

My mum left my dad and moved 3 hours away. We’ve never had a good relationship since and that was over 25 years ago.

It all depends on the children, who has been previously shouldering school homework etc how often will they see you? Can they stay with you?

Do you only want posts from women who have done it? Don't want to post if this isn't the kind of response you want, so feel free to ignore, but I do know some single dads, so my point it that it is definitely not unheard of, and there's no reason to assume someone's gender should determine things.