I'm starting to notice cracks appearing in what I thought might turn out to become something special.
We are both mid forties and have both been single for ages before meeting each other. It's now just over a year in. He makes me laugh, is helpful, kind, caring. So it seemed.... people are on their best behavior of course.
I've noticed I'll go round to his house sometimes and the toilet is filthy. He lives alone so nobody else's fault. I hadn't been for a week and my stay wasn't planned but I wouldn't expect poo stains to be left and ignored and both upstairs and downstairs toilet seats covered in urine stains and some urine and paper on the floor.
I'm no germaphobe but this was horrendous. He didn't make any effort to clean before I used the loo either.
Quite a few times recently I've noticed his underwear and even his trousers stink of old urine. Well any intimacy is off the table then. To have to tell an adult male to wash is pretty grim.
Now I'm also noticing him ogling other women. Last night we went out with two new friends I've made from a new hobby. They are married and late forties. We were in a busy pub and my boyfriend could not take his eyes off a group of very young women. One was about 19, very long blonde hair, very pretty face. She walked past our table and he undressed her with his eyes and watched her go back to her seat. I noticed my friend's husband did not ogle. He was very involved in the conversation.
He has done this a few times when out. I've pointed it out to him but he excuses it, says oh teenagers are so funny. Or saying they look too young to be in the pub. They didn't and he was practically drooling.
This behaviour plus his lack of personal hygiene has put me right off him. Am I wrong to feel so turned off? Should I be more tolerant?