Should I be concerned about my husband joining dating sites while separated?

[Ejs890011]

Right so do I believe him.
We had a week apart in August, he kept asking me if we are seeing other people that we are separated. I said no if you want the marriage to work.
3-4 days later he says his bank account has been hacked and he has transactions for dating sites. I went right.
So on Saturday I point blank ask him did you go on any dating sites. He said no my account was hacked.
Talking to my friend yesterday. I mentioned to her that he took a £500 loan out while we were apart but he spent it all in a week. She said on what check his bank balance.
I checked his bank balance he has 3 transactions to my date which was not refunded.
Also on Facebook he has joined a group which is friends and dating group. He put a post up of himself saying he was looking for friends, then someone commented and he p’m all the people who liked his post. Nothing and but still.
One woman he explained our whole life story to her. Showed pictures of him and our son.
Anyway should I have red flags?

No, I think you’re fine.

Sorry, I don’t entirely understand your post. Are you separated, or not? If you are, he can join as many dating sites as he likes.

We were apart for a week and he asked and I said no

He showed a random woman on Facebook photos of your child? I’d be livid at that.

You know he’s lying about the dating sites.

He is definitely lying about the dating sites. But, tbh, I’m not sure the marriage is salvageable if he was asking your permission to date when you were separated for such a short time.

When you were separated for a week, did he know it was just going to be for a week? Or could it have been permanent for all he knew? It’s just that it’s not uncommon for people to go a bit mad on the dating sites when newly single, and kind of understandable.

I think if you made it clear that the terms of your separation were that you don’t see other people and he joined a FB group that included dating then that crossed the line.

I also think it sounds a bit convenient and too much of a coincidence that for the one week you’re separated and he also joins a FB group that includes dating (there are plenty for just friendships!!) he also happened to get hacked and the hacker joined a dating website…..!

He also messaged women he met on a group for people open to both dating and friendship and overshared in a way that betrays the pursuit of intimacy rather than platonic friendship.

He clearly attempted (at least) to see other people and date whilst you were separated.

What you do with that is up to you because it’s unclear if you’re still separated and it is unreasonable to expect him to hang on and wait for you to decide if he your relationship will work out when one of the terms for doing so is he’s not allowed to move on (although in the short term I think that’s a perfectly reasonable boundary within the context of a separation)

Bet he was on them long before
£500 spent in a week could well be escorts.

Oh lol

Of all the multitude of organisations in the world who could have hacked into his bank account, it just so happens to have been dating sites.

Honestly OP he must think you were born yesterday if he thinks you're going to believe that load of bollocks!

If you separated, you had no ability to tell him what he could do with his life.
But no, Tinder doesn’t magically hack the bank accounts of men who happen to have just separated. Similarly escorts don’t either.
He was single and took his chances to put it about. Probably found out he wasn’t all that popular and was ridiculously over sharing. Now you’re back together he’s making up the first excuse that comes to mind.
What a prince you have!

What has he done to claim this money back? 🤔

Yeah I mean he definitely did it, the fact that as soon as you were separated he went looking for other women instead of reflecting on what needed to be done to save your relationship indicates to me that you should probably make this separation permanent.

Also - a £500 loan that he spent in a week - was that supposed to be a hack as well?? He sounds like an idiot all round tbh.