I’ve been with my partner 13 years, 2 children, both late 40s.
My partner is not affectionate day to day. We joke he doesn’t do hugs, however a couple of years ago he said he does like hugs, but not from me because I had several dogs when we first met and he said I always smelt of dog. We don’t kiss, he turns his cheek to me when he leaves in the morning. If I attempt to cuddle up to him on the sofa I get asked what I’m doing, if I I pursue it, I can feel he is uncomfortable until I let him go. So I’ve basically stopped offering him affection during the day because I get pushed away all the time.
The last two nights he’s tried to initiate sex. The first night I was asleep and pushed him away without really thinking about it. Last night I felt I should, but he stopped half way through and held me, so I did the same, I thought he’d fallen asleep! He then asked me what was wrong, that I’m too lifeless, too dry, won’t let him in, pointed out we’ve only had sex twice this year and if that goes, everything goes. To be honest I find physical touch too much at the moment, I don’t know if it’s too much over stimulation from the kids constantly on me, or my hormones making my skin over sensitive. But I’d rather be left alone. If I explain that I might be over stimulated from the kids, he will tell the kids to leave alone, and I don’t want that, because he won’t take my place he’ll just tell them to sit down and be quiet.
During our time together he has been emotionally unfaithful, and most recently he threatened to leave and take out kids away because he was away with friends, and I was sat at home with friends round until 3am and he thought that was too late (I wasn’t drinking).
Look, I’m 48 and I don’t want sex with my partner anymore. I’m too tired, too stressed and I don’t like the stickiness after. I just want to get on with the long list of jobs I need to do or relax. Am I normal?