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Relationships

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should i end things with my current bf ?

6 replies

Solomon98 · 08/09/2026 14:06

My boyfriend is 20 years old . He is a high-school dropout and he currently works. He earns a decent pay that can take care of himself and sometimes even his family.
Firstly, my family's and his family's way of living is totally different. To make it simple my family's status is higher than his. So technically, I'm richer than him. I am 18 years old and currently in college abroad and since then it has been like a long distance situation going on.
The problem here is that I don't see a future with him but he does. I know we are young and that future does not matter now but still it will become a problem later on. For the past 8 months we've been together , he has never once given me anything not even flowers or gifts , the only thing he has bought me was a chocolate which once and like last minute... while I have gifted him chocolates , t-shirts and perfumes . His excuse is that since my parents dont know about our relationship he doesnt want to risk it by giving me gifts ..
We once got into a mini discussion about how he is just a small person and so i should not expect the most from him. This discussion started by us talking about transports. We were planning a date and i said that my driver would drop me off. He kinda seemed down when i said that. He proceeded to ask me if i can take the bus or am i too spoiled to travel on public transport ... This kinda made me mad cause ive never asked him for money or anything like.. what does my way of living have to do with me taking the bus ...
If we are talkinng about personality and love, he has it all. He is nice , loving and affectionate but when it comes to the way of living. Im currently in another country and i once asked if he is going to come visit me cause if then it is going to be me going to him every single time and he said he is going to work hard to come see me one day . He has been working since he was a teen . He keeps on saying he is going to improve his life for the best but at the end of the day we dont see any improvements.
The reason im still with him right now is cause he is loyal but sometimes i just expect way too much. I know we should not always expect too much from men but right now im literally wanting the least but not even getting any.
I just know that talking about things with him is going to be hard and at the end it will be no use. I know he is 20 years old but if i look into the future i just know he is not going to improve.
I dont know how to end things with him cause right now we are long distancing and he does talk to me everyday i just feel disappointed everytime i think of the fture . I want things to be better but deep down i just know it wont. He is a good guy in general . So what do you guys say i should do ?

OP posts:
Mysticguru · 08/09/2026 14:31

He's future faking. You're young and in a college abroad so you should be enjoying and having a wonderful experience and not this drama.

Tell him you're young want to experience life and that this is not for you at the moment. Then delete and block.

Badbadbunny · 08/09/2026 14:35

You can end a relationship for any reason, or no reason at all. You don't need to justify it to anyone else. You're clearly not "feeling it" as far as a long term relationship goes. You're free to carry on as a casual basis, basically waiting for someone else to come along, or you're free to end it now. But the important thing is YOU don't see a long term future, so don't carry on thinking things can change, or he can change, or whatever, because it almost certainly won't. Having doubts at such an early stage of a relationship should tell you something, i.e. that you don't have a long term future with him!

AbsintheMakesTheHeartGrowFonder · 08/09/2026 15:02

You're 18. You really don't need to be planning a future with anyone. You can end a relationship for any reason you want, but it's really not going to last long-distance anyway and you'll barely remember this guy in a few years' time.

I know it probably feels like a big deal, but trust me: in the big scheme of things, it isn't. End the relationship and enjoy your life.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 08/09/2026 21:17

Why do you need to be buying each other presents...is this for birthdays/Christmas?

Minasama · 08/09/2026 21:25

It sounds like this is not the right relationship for you and that is ok. However the fact that you list him not having bought you anything as a reason to end it may be something to think about. Gifts aren’t what a functioning relationship is based on.
Levels of education, however, are usually important. Class (status) shouldn’t matter but it takes strong love & commitment to overcome it.
Honestly, at 18 I’d gently call it a day unless you can’t imagine your life without him.

tarheelbaby · 08/09/2026 21:35

'I don't see a future with him but he does ... If I look to the future, I just know he is not going to improve'
That is your answer right there. You are 18, studying and living abroad. You want a different kind of relationship.
Be kind when you let him down gently. He's been a great first. At your ages you can move on to new connections and should do for several years.

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