Family have turned against me

[Fedupandtired12]

Nerves feel completely shot at the moment. Family have turned against me and I'm fed up of the whole situation. Everything has been twisted to make me out to be this horrible person by my parent and now I'm getting phone calls from my siblings. It doesn't seem to matter what I say in my own defensive they don't want to hear it.
I don't think the relationships can be salvaged, feel on edge all the time trying to anticipate the next thing I'm going to be accused of doing.
I've just had enough. It sounds like they're sprinkling elements of truth but then putting massive lies in there to make it sound believable. I have tried my best to explain the situation but there's no point
Luckily I've got my partner and best friend, but I just feel like the world is imploding around me at the moment and I'm waiting for the next thing to smack me in the face

What are they saying?? What happened?

It's a long story and quite outing. But it's basically about money. It started with me doing a favour for the parent and despite me offering to show evidence of what actually happened, I'm now getting accused of financial abuse and all other manner of things. It categorically isn't true and I can prove it but no-one seems to care for my side of the story.

Is your parent the cause of the upset @Fedupandtired12 ? Is this type of upset a common occurrence or something that hasn’t happened in your family before? It sounds very stressful. Do you feel as if you’re really not guilty of anything you’re being accused of? Just trying to get a picture here as I understand you feel you can’t be too specific.

Have you got a family WhatsApp? Could you state on there what you did, plus a photo of what you did? Maybe with receipts, just to justify things?

Parent does have history of talking badly about people if they feel wronged in some way and elaborating the story. I've always taken things with a pinch of salt when they say things about other people. She is not the sort to apologise for something she has done wrong but very much expects people to grovel if they feel they have been wronged in someway even if the other person did nothing bad in reality

I'm 100% not guilty of the things I'm being accused of. But small elements of truth have been scattered amongst quite a lot of exaggerations and lies

I've sent evidence to my siblings, noone seems to be willing to look at it. I have tried to explain. It just doesn't seem to matter what I say or what I can evidence

Sympathy, but no advice sadly. I'm in a similar but different situation where I can't win as my sister and mum are totally enmeshed and co-dependent, with a dash of emotional abuse by my sister. If I stick up for myself I'm a terrible person. I've all but walked away/gone low contact. It's sad, but sometimes being in the right makes no difference. 😢

It is shit, sorry you're going through the same sort of thing. I think I feel sadder about the fact everyone seemed to be so quick to believe horrible things about me, surely after knowing me this long they would know I'm not the sort of person that would do these things I'm being accused of

I’d tell them to call the police if they think it’s true and I’ll happily give all my evidence to the contrary to the investigation.

Honestly then they’re being purposefully blind. Cut them off. They don’t have your interests at heart.

Just explain, send the evidence and tell them you don’t won’t be engaging with any of them anymore.
Tell them to call the police if they’re so adamant you did wrong.

Then literally just ignore them.

Is this parent a covert narcissist, and could you have been the family scapegoat? Sometimes people don't understand narcissism until they research it. It's very common.

Some families need an emotional punching bag and a scapegoat to unconsciously distract from their own dysfunction.

Also have been in the same boat and I walked away from the lot of them. Unfortunately my mother has been using my name in lies for years to everyone so thats why a narrative has been built around me that is not true. You cannot win, they don't want your explanations and the more you explain the more they will accuse you of being crazy etc. No point when they have been so brainwashed unfortunately. Hurts but honestly better to walk away.

I think my parent has taken offence to me setting a boundary for once and using this set of lies to make me out to be the horrible person to everyone around me. Up until this point I've done absolutely everything to help them in all sorts of ways. They've occasionally made snotty comments about my other siblings when they've felt offended for some reason or criticised siblings partners when they've done nothing wrong (apart from taking my golden siblings away), complained about my siblings' in-laws because they're obviously jealous that in some ways the in laws have done better in life. I've actually defended them at the time, now the very same people have turned on me instantly.

I think now you should pull back from them a little and let them breathe and look more objectively at the whole picture