Husband sulking when I ask for a weed-free day to reconnect

[Sarahandjenny]

Asked hubby to have a day off smoking weed so we could bond and have a clear day where I actually feel some genuine connection and he’s ignoring me all day like a child. I actually am embarrassed to admit the only time I feel liked by my husband is when he is smoking weed.

i wanted a day to connect but find myself feeling more alone because he’s got the ump.. I could cry. On top of this he wants to sleep together but I just don’t feel connected to him. He says things like well what am I meant to do if we don’t sleep together but what am I meant to do without a connection? My confidence is being affected feeling like my own husband doesn’t like me.

Any words of wisdom to break free and to not feel guilty about giving up? I start to feel sorry for him because he obviously can’t be happy
without it….

Does he have a job?

You learnt an awful lot of damaging lessons about relationships when you were growing up?.

You mention dad but not your mum; is she still
in your life?. I ask only as she is not mentioned.

Addiction looms large in your life.

You went from one addicted male (your dad) to another addicted male (your now husband). Again you are playing out the usual roles here: codependent and enabler. You’re shielding him from the consequences of his actions. An action that helps no one ultimately.

You cannot rescue and or save him and trying to be both does not work. You’ve likely tried to save dad and that’s not worked out either. These men have to decide for themselves to accept the necessary help: you cannot do that for them.

You've answered your own question here. You either need to leave or stay and continue as you are - he isn't going to change. I hope that there are no children involved, no child deserves this.

Husband who supports criminal enterprises, no doubtless linked to people being stabbed to death and possibly those gangs responsible for arranging small boat crossings. And other crime.

Do you want to condone this crime?

This weedy teen boy needs binnig off not reconnecting to, you're not his mum.

Nail on the head. He's fueling the money laundering and modern slavery epidemic.

It can definitely alter the brain, there have bern studies. You are right, they are almost always in denial. My sister was once a chronic smoker of it, she managed to quit it and smoking. I like her so much more off of the weed. She has an actual personality. Before it just exacerbated ger bipolar.

@Sarahandjenny many have a liberal attitude to weed smoking, you clearly do because you are in a relationship with a man who smokes weed every day.

But this is not the norm in 10s of millions of households.

How does he manage to work if he is stoned every day. Does he drive?

Your life would improve drastically if you were with someone that didn’t smoke weed.

He doesn’t need it but is psychologically addicted to it.

Does he smoke skunk? Because if he does his brain is fried.

You have asked him to not smoke for one day, you need to tell him it’s you or the weed. Which do you think he would choose?

Yuck!

You come second to drugs?

That is foul and it’s not normal.

When my daughters are old enough I'll advise them, never get into a relationship with gamers or dope heads. Absolute wasters the lot of them.

Nothing wrong with gamers who do other things and it doesn't become an obsession that affects their working and social life. Obviously a big problem if they're obsessed and addicted to gaming to the detriment of a normal life.

But a huge yes to staying away from anyone who takes any form of illegal drugs, not just weed, but also "party" pills, snorting coke etc.

Yes, I wonder that too!

Same here. There was an article in the news a few weeks ago about four different couples where the bloke had either killed or maimed his partner. The women had careers, good looking, etc., but the men were all pug-ugly, unemployed, criminal records, etc. I thought at the time - just why on Earth did those women choose those men - the blokes literally had nothing going for them and the women could easily have done so much better.

I’m actually quite concerned about trying to leave and feel more nervous reading this.

I’m always amazed at people’s low standards and expectations on here - have some self respect and leave
don’t be a doormat have some self respect you deserve better.

All the more reason to leave. If you're worried about your safety leaving, can you contact women's aid for advice? Speak to family and friends and let them know you're scared.