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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband horny whilst working, but distant at home

36 replies

CosyTiger · 06/09/2026 17:54

Hi. I am looking for some advice please as I am so confused. My Husband and I have a good sex life, active 2-3 times min per week. He is is usually the one that starts it and I am always happy to have it. He is very loving, always kissing and cuddling and canoodling with me. This is where I become confused...he had 10 days off work/at home and he barely came near me, not for kisses, cuddles, canoodling or sex! He has been back to work for 4 days and back to his loving, sexual self. I could understand if it was the other way around due to workplace stress etc. We have a happy home environment he loves being at home.
I have racked my brains...I have thought is there something with someone else at work, but our son works with him and commutes with him so there is no way it is that. Could there be a desire for someone at work hence being horny when home?
I have thought when he was off work were the late nights downstairs and late lie ins upstairs (alone) because he was "seeing to himself" with p*orn, so not needing his needs met. If this is the case then it makes me think he uses sex/me as a second option after masturbating/porn. When at work he is up early so does not stay downstairs alone late, or have lie ins so wont have the chance of masturbating/porn.
If this was a long term thing I could consider other factors but surely things cant just change that quick over 14 days. Has anyone had similar, got any advice or thoughts? I have no one else to talk to. Thank you x

OP posts:
CosyTiger · 07/09/2026 16:11

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 07/09/2026 16:03

Ah, he's sounding more and more like me! I'm also really laid back, I don't really outwardly show stress at all. It's a bit of a double edged sword, because while it does mean I'm calm in a crisis, it also means that people don't understand that things are getting on top of me because all they see is me coping.

And then I get that week off work and suddenly I find I can't stop myself yawning!

That seems like him yes! x

OP posts:
WaryCyanStork · 07/09/2026 16:12

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 07/09/2026 15:49

Has he got a really sexy job that would make him horny? Examples would include firefighter, vet, tree surgeon, cowboy.

I hope my vet isn't getting horny from their job!!

DearMartha · 07/09/2026 16:48

WaryCyanStork · 07/09/2026 16:12

I hope my vet isn't getting horny from their job!!

Hahahaha!!!!!

AnonAnonmystery · 07/09/2026 16:53

Has the sex restarted now he’s back at work?

DollopOfFun · 07/09/2026 17:01

ShakyBake · 06/09/2026 22:09

Might not mean anything but does he have heated car seats in his car?

What about heated rear windscreen?
Does he have that?

CosyTiger · 07/09/2026 20:44

😂

OP posts:
CosyTiger · 07/09/2026 20:54

AnonAnonmystery · 07/09/2026 16:53

Has the sex restarted now he’s back at work?

He has became touchy feely again but tbh I have sort of brushed him off/too tired excuse. I feel really bad as I never lie to him but its really had me baffled. I guess I will know more when I ask him 🙄

OP posts:
Utr90 · 08/09/2026 21:40

It's a woman at work, I bet you.

EDIT: Oh I see you said he's an engineer. So very unlikely to be a woman at work. Unless he's also attracted to men. The 1 or 2 female engineers I've known of were very unsexy. Saying that, engineers in general are very unsexy.

FannyCraddocksPantry · 08/09/2026 21:43

Utr90 · 08/09/2026 21:40

It's a woman at work, I bet you.

EDIT: Oh I see you said he's an engineer. So very unlikely to be a woman at work. Unless he's also attracted to men. The 1 or 2 female engineers I've known of were very unsexy. Saying that, engineers in general are very unsexy.

Edited

What a load of stereotyping gibberish

Missj25 · Yesterday 09:00

Utr90 · 08/09/2026 21:40

It's a woman at work, I bet you.

EDIT: Oh I see you said he's an engineer. So very unlikely to be a woman at work. Unless he's also attracted to men. The 1 or 2 female engineers I've known of were very unsexy. Saying that, engineers in general are very unsexy.

Edited

What a bizarre post .

AnonAnonmystery · Yesterday 13:50

CosyTiger · 07/09/2026 20:54

He has became touchy feely again but tbh I have sort of brushed him off/too tired excuse. I feel really bad as I never lie to him but its really had me baffled. I guess I will know more when I ask him 🙄

I think both of you need to communicate a lot better than you actually have. What is stopping you from having a direct conversation about why he did not come near you during his time away from work? Pushing him away will only make the problem worse though I do understand why you may me doing this.

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