Trigger warning. Would his views on prostitution and those searches put you off?

[ElfintheForest]

Trigger warning perhaps as mention of sexual violence.

So newish chap and I were having a chat the other day about misogyny and how best to protect and support young people, young women in particular (he has 5 daughters, all from previous marriage and all adults now) in this ever changing world. I was attacked around 20 years ago, I was in my thirties at the time, luckily I fought the man off, not sure what he was planning to do, but he didn't try to take my bag. So the subject got onto rape and rape prevention, teaching girls self-defence (trust me it's what really helped me), the internet, porn, and eventually webcam girls and prostitution.

I could not believe that he said if prostitution was legalised, then it would reduce the number of rapes and violent crimes against women. There are statistics showing a certain reduction, however, the violence is perpetrated against the sex workers instead! Of course he wouldn't want any one of his daughters to do that job, but yes, it should be legalised. He admitted to hiring a prostitute in the past, but cancelling her at the last minute due to nerves. He said he was in his twenties.

I noticed when we were watching TV the other day, when he opened the search screen on Google, there were previous searches popped up for "prostitutes with blond hair", "what do prostitutes get paid".

Am I right to now feel worried. He denies the searches, says he really can't remember doing them and seems very embarrassed.

All of this has put me right off him.

Erm, throw this one back in the sea!

Block and run

Big red flags.

Does he really think prostitution is consensual sex? Considering how many are trafficked and so many other concerns, geez, horrible.

So he's a man in his 50s (I assume) and he said "if prostitution was legalised, then it would reduce the number of rapes and violent crimes against women."

This is a man who knows very little despite his age. I couldn't be with someone that wilfully ignorant.

And that's not even considering the possibility that he is himself using prostitutes.

Ditch and move on.

Please get rid. He’s just disgusting 🤢

Why are you even asking??? Searches don’t just magically appear on Google.

Exactly my point, which I think I made very poorly. Sex workers, escorts, whatever language we use for them, are not always there because they want to be, they could be trafficked, forced, pimped, trying to pay off debts to a loan shark. Even those women... and of course men in the industry... who appear to be there by choice, very often it's not a choice that comes from a wide range of options. Crippling debt, poor mental health, lack of support growing up.... abuse growing up.

What an ignorant old shite he is. I'm so glad I came on Mumsnet!

Where are you based? Prostitution is legal in England, Scotland & Wales for the most part. Pimping, brothel keeping and street soliciting are not. But this man can perfectly legally hire a sex worker to visit him at home, or legally visit her at her place.

Maybe he meant completely decriminalised, convinctions for soliciting expunged & brothel-keeping laws reviewed so 2 or more women can work together for safety. That's what sex workers in the UK want, so his views align with theirs. Make of that what you will.

Searching 'how much do prostitutes get paid' doesn't suggest he has tried to book one any time recently though!

We are in England. Yes I realise it is legal, but that soliciting is not.

He knows it is legal when it doesn't involve soliciting.

I used to live in the Netherlands and its legalisation has not stopped trafficking or the underground "market" in woman and children unfortunately.

The main point he was making was to reduce and prevent rape. He had nothing to say about the safety of women. His angle was entirely from the perspective of giving rapists an outlet.

Setting aside a group of women and girls for rapists to hire is not a feminist stance. Get rid pf this misogynist.

So he sees sex workers as less than and/or expendable - that's enough of a reason to bin him. Using the term 'prostitute' is also a red flag.

And no one wants their daughter in the sex industry. But every daughter who enters it should be as safe as we can possibly make it.

Ideally with a few weights attached so he can't bob back up to the surface

Men don’t rape women because they want sex. It’s a power and domination thing.

He sounds absolutely foul btw.

So he’s assuming all rapists rape women cos they fancy a shag and can’t get one anywhere else?! Completely ignoring the fact that rape is usually more about power and control and satisfying a sick fantasy rather than simply sex. That really shows how ignorant and uneducated he is. That in itself would put me off