Attracted to a female friend while in a relationship with a man

[allydoobs83]

So I'm 42 and have never been with a woman,although I've thought about it. Have always had a huge crush on Drew Barrymore,especially in Charlie's Angels. But never been tempted in rl.

Just recently, I've made friends with a woman over Facebook,and we've met a few times,with my son,so all very innocent.

As far as I know,she is 100% straight,but over the last couple of months, I've found myself feeling really attracted to her.
I've tried to distance myself from her,but think it's a bit unfair to do that,with no explanation,but the thought of admitting to how I feel about her,knowing that she's not likely to feel the same way,is terrifying!

We talk about everything, and I don't want to lose her as a friend.

Plus,I'm in a relationship with a man whose ex wife turned out to be gay,so don't want to put him through the same pain again. He suffers with mental health issues,so really think it could send him over the edge.

Any advice?

Stop this friendship. It is not innocent, you're having an emotional affair and that's really shitty.

My advice would be 'don't'!

I agree with the previous poster. You can have friendships but if that has become more for you, you should distance yourself out of respect for your OH. If you want to pursue her, end your relationship first and try but to tell her how you feel when you’re in a serious relationship and presumably don’t plan to tell him first, would be really shitty. You don’t owe this lady anything so say you’re really busy now with something and avoid her until the contact dwindles to nothing.

This, how would you feel if he’d befriended a random on facebook, met up with them and was now sexually attracted to them?

This, how would you feel if he’d befriended a random on facebook, met up with them and was now sexually attracted to them?

You're having an emotional affair, and you're worried that talking less would be unfair to the person you're having the affair with?

Just break up with the man, everyone deserves better than that.

Are you attracted to her because of her empathy, compassion and personality and now lusting after her?

Im not sure this will end well with any action except absenting yourself from the friendship.

I would keep this as a friendship and no more, making a pass at her if she’s straight could kill your friendship, it would also be a shitty thing to do to your partner, i’d say either leave it as a fantasy or leave your partner to pursue your new found attraction to women.

I have been there. Got close to a colleague but became ‘real friends’ (closer than just work friends). It was difficult because I really fell in love with her. I would almost get jealous if I saw her speaking with someone else. It was really confusing as I was(am) married to a man. Those feelings have definitely faded now and I still have a friendship with her. To be honest, I just enjoyed it in my head. Sometimes it did get painful as I am 99% sure it wasn’t reciprocated. I didn’t want to lose her friendship so just pushed through.

Don’t say a word yo her. If she’s straight, you’ll just trash your friendship.

Also to add - I didn’t see about your partners mental health issues. I suppose you really can only play along with this fantasy in your head if you really 100% know you wouldn’t act on it. If you think there is a slight chance I would back away. I enjoyed mine for what it was - fantasy. I knew deep down I wouldn’t wreck my marriage over it