How do you spend your weekend/ evenings if you have 16 and 14 year olds at home

[TwinklyStarrySky]

I'm just wondering what people do when their kids are at these ages.

They don't seem to want to do anything with us! They come down for dinner then are either back in their rooms or the 16 year old is out with friends.

I'm struggling to connect with DH for a number of reasons so I guess I'm feeling lonely. He is preoccupied with his things and my work is very intense and busy. I don't really have hobbies or the head space to start anything new!

Trying to work out if the kids doing their own things mostly is normal... and how people do end up spending their time once the kids are older and more independent.

My dc15 trains 4 evenings a week (plus weekends) so out of the house a few hours each evening. Dh and I share lifts so we don’t get a lot of time together on those nights. But other nights my dd and I will watch a series. I have to split my time between watching something with Dh and then with dd (they like different things!).

driving my 14 yo around.

Currently sitting in a car park whilst she plays football

she does football 4 times a week, explorers and curling

18 yo about to leave home. He previously did swimming, explorers and volunteering. But currently just does play station.

Doing things with your DH perhaps to reconnect

Mine are 17 and 15 and other than meal times, we barely see them. If we arrange a day out together they are happy to join but otherwise, they tend to do their own thing.
I work in education so just had 6 weeks off and I was so bored as DH was still working, DS was working and DD just done her own thing!

It's not easy when they don't need you as much anymore but you definitely need to get your own thing (as do I) but be available when they do want to spend time together.

Mine are the same age and they exact opposite, they want to come everywhere with me and follow me around like toddlers 🙄 weekends we usually do days out (they wouldn’t like to be left alone)

Very normal OP. This is your time to reconnect with partner and do things you enjoy for you!

This is very helpful! Yes they do get ferried about to various activities!

Thank you!

So, I need to find some not too demanding things for me to do! Anyone have any suggestions?!

Mine are the same age and they also spend most of their times in their rooms. Me and DH both have a hobby we do one night a week (same hobby, same night) and then the other nights we watch TV together/go for a walk in the summer/do chores/my DH works sometimes and sometimes we go out together or separately to meet friends. I enjoy the me time!

would you and DH go out for dinner? Or go see friend? Go cinema? We will usually do that one night then just stay in another and if kids are willing we will have a games night. Otherwise they are either out or in room playing online with friends

Exact same in our house unless we driving them to sports etc. I’ve gone back to going to the gym

They both have training multiple nights a week so often just a mad rush to get dinner then get back out again. Watch box sets with them. Working out / working / cleaning while they do their own hobbies. Going for walks in the summer.

My DD 16 is an only child. I feel like I've got empty nest syndrome before she has actually left. She went to Leeds Festival last weekend and now she thinks she is independent and doesn't need anyone.
I took a week off work this week to spend time with my DD. She has spent all her time making up reasons why she can't spend time with me and the best friend appears most days. I've spent the whole week by myself trying to find things to do. Loneliness is hell.
I have come to the conclusion that I need to get out into life and do things without considering her. It's heartbreaking knowing that I'm no longer needed, but it's the only way that I will be able to save my sanity. But I'll still be around for when she needs me.
I'm single, but don't have anyone else.

Usually driving them to some enriching activity, possibly waiting for them, driving back. I might find time to go for a run/walk/bike ride/swim; visiting my mum; catching up on work; cooking tomorrow’s tea; cleaning; crashed in front on tv!

We can get them out with bribes sometimes, same with board games/ family movie nights!!

I'm currently sat outside a train station waiting for mine to arrive on a delayed train from London 🙄

But she's usually in her room. I go to the gym if I have the energy, most of my friends have babies not teens so I can't pop round to them in the week as they are in the thick of it so I mostly watch tv. Not the exciting freedom I dreamt of 15 years ago 😂

I've got two DDs 17 & 16 and realised this summer that I am surplus to their requirements. It's come as a rather depressing shock as the past couple of years I've been caring for my mum who died last year, then I was executor, so the first time I looked up I realised my girls had grown up and I missed it 😢

On the night we aren't ferrying them about we either have a movie night, watch a sports match and/or watch music videos - that one tends to go late because we take turns and one video always leads to another.

My two teens have hit this stage and I’m a single parent now, apart from meal times I very rarely see them! We have board games night on Sunday evenings and have also joined David Lloyd’s new leisure facility that’s recently opened up.. been a game changer! Badminton, gym, swimming and family spa - keeps them off their devices 💪 better still out the house getting fit.

Daughter is not far off 16. Barely see her and when we do she is usually in a mood!

Weekdays we are all busy in the evenings after tea doing our own thing. Martial arts, gym classes, football training etc etc.
Weekends DH and I have started going out for a couple of drinks on our own on a Friday night or Saturday afternoon and we bring a takeaway home for all of us. The younger teen will watch a bit of TV with us, the eldest either has mates round or is gaming in his room.
Weekend days for the boys are taken up with either being out and about with friends, football matches - either playing (one is in a team) or watching whatever premier league game is on (this is with DH, I have no interest in football). I often meet my girlfriends for a few hours on a weekend or take myself off for a spot of shopping or a long walk with a good friend and our dogs.

My DD is 16 and is either out or in her room most evenings / at the weekend.

I don't live with my partner so if I'm not seeing him I usually find something good to watch, catch up on work or housework or visit friends.

I've just started an exercise class one evening a week

I used to go out, spend time with friends or boyfriend. Have people over. It's easy as you don't need babysitters

The dcs have always had a lot of extracurriculars but we are in London so they take themselves there usually, so I'm not needed to be a taxi. DH and I have our own sports/arts hobbies (not new but they went on the back burner when dcs were younger, so getting back into them). I'm doing OU study as well. DH and I are also doing some date nights, going to the theatre/cinema after work. It's nice getting to do our own thing now we don't need babysitters, we never really used them when dcs were small but we knew it was only a temporary thing.

At weekends we'll still do some activities as a family, we do board games or movie night at home, or we'll all do a theatre trip, gig or something like an immersive gallery. As a family we've always liked to do a trip out together at weekends since they were small.

Following with interest as this will be me in a couple of years!
At the moment DC are 11 and 13 and we do still do quite a bit together (meals out, watching films, playing board games) but I know this will change as they get older.
I'm hoping it'll give me and DH more time together, maybe to nip out to the pub or go to the cinema or similar.

My youngest DC (of three) is 16yo. One evening a week I take him to football training and another night I go to a Pilates class. I'm enjoying more quiet evenings with my DH now I don't have three of them who need driving to things! (The older two can drive themselves now.)