Advice for severe PMDD and autism before it affects my marriage

[pmddTantrumasdMeltdown]

I’m on a mission of self destruction it seems and I need advice for what medication or therapy might actually work before my marriage breaks down.

I have autism and very, very severe PMDD. I’ve tried :
CBT - via nhs couldn’t get on with it at all it literally gave me headaches ? It didn’t help or caused stress and made me worse

Counselling - nhs and private. Useless didn’t help at all.

Mirena - first made me worse mood wise then really unwell then the second perforated my uterus I needed surgery and was told not have a coil again due to the high level of scarring .
Mini pill - made me feel worse but all month??
not suitable for combined pill.

Sertraline then citalopram. Several side effects and had to wean off them. Been begging gp to try Prozac but they said they’d rather I try HRT (I’m 42 no peri symptoms at all and hormone levels ok plus wary of oestrogen due to migraines and breast cancer in close family)

Anyway my PMDD is horrific and this morning I’ve had a massive meltdown and I can just see that dh can’t put up with it anymore.

Has anyone navigated PMDD alongside autism ? Is there a medication I could try that would help ? Or a specific therapy ?

I’m so sorry your dd suffers with this too. I hope the treatment helps her it’s so hard to manage.

Clearly not

which is an answer in itself really

I think if it’s affecting your relationship and you don’t want it to, it’s important to try and find coping mechanisms which may not solve how you feel but will allow your DH to feel less of it. Maybe journaling how you feel, walking away to process your thoughts instead of staying in situations that may cause things to become volatile, talking to him when you feel calm and can explain how you truly feel about him (this can perhaps reassure him that you do want to be with him and there are some positives for him). Maybe changing your diet, getting more exercise and trying to prioritise things which make you feel good generally. It sounds like a cliche but fresh air is so good for so many things.

I think it’s also important to have ways which allow you to keep a lid on things, even if that means keeping the feelings to yourself sometimes and then processing them in another way or going out to let them pass. If you feel parenting is ok, you must have some coping mechanism which allows you to keep it to yourself in their presence. Often we realise kids need to be protected but let rip when around our spouse. If needs be, try to think of him in the same way as the kids, that you need to protect him from hurt and try to not let it all out.

Should you be interested in trying it, watch out that the progesterone in anything you are offered is actually bio identical, not synthetic.

Over the past 25 years I've tried quite a few antidepressants and funnily enough, Prozac was the least effective. Then again I got on well with Sertraline and Citalopram, with no side effects, so it may work well for you. I also take a mood stabiliser called Lamotrigine, which helps with anger and irritability (I've got ADHD and recurring depression).

I take Prozac. I've had citalopram and sertraline in the past and both also worked but one gave me a gippy tummy randomly after a couple of years and the other stopped working so well and when the dose was upped gave me awful dreams. I've found the most useful thing is actually recognising when I'm getting overloaded and taking steps to stop it escalating into full blown meltdown. When I get grumpy/snappy I know I need to do something, it might be I need a break away from everyone so I go to my mums for a cuppa for a couple of hours. It could be I need a good nap because I'm tired (I never sleep well just before my period), it could be I need dh to cook dinner or sort some other bits to take some load off me. Sometimes I need some fresh air and time outside. I also try not to plan anything in when I know things will be at their worst, again to avoid overwhelm.

I am really sorry you’re going through this. It sounds exhausting to try so many different treatments and still feel unheard. I hope you can find the right support from someone who understands both PMDD and autism.

Sounds tough, OP. No one has mentioned CBD drops, which take the edge off the severe PMS/PMDD a bit for me. Daily, fairly vigorous exercise also helps. PMDD gets worse in your 40s, but at least I suspect there’s an end in sight. My mum has been pretty chilled since the menopause!

Fluoxetine has been life changing for dd

That sounds like a loaded question

Are you implying that she's either making it up, or is actually not a good parent?
Is there a reason you'd go down that particular questioning route when someone asks for help with pmdd??

I hadn’t even thought of something like CBD ! Might do some research!

Good, glad that might be useful to explore. I read about it on a US-based PMDD group I used to be part of. Everyone on there was taking it. I get mine from Simply CBD via Amazon these days, but of course there are loads of different companies that do it. I also read about 5 HTP for PMDD on there, which I also have, but only use very occasionally now, on a bad day. It does also help a bit!

Yes I'm asking because I'm autistic and starting to show signs of PMDD as I'm getting older too and generally feel equally ticked off with everyone I live with when the symptoms arise. So yes, I do find the selective approach unlike my own hence my asking.

Why did you choose to single out my question when others asked the same?