Worried about sister moving risky new partner in quickly

[booagan]

Hi I’m after some advice I’m really worried about my sister, my niece and her new relationship.

She’s got into a relationship with a man and moved him into her home within a few weeks, my niece is 6.

This man is currently under investigation for domestic abuse but according to my sister this is the ex partner causing trouble, I know the ex partner slightly through mutual friends I am inclined to believe the ex. I don’t know the full nature of allegations but I do know he’s recently been arrested for it since being with my sister. The guy is known to have mental health and drug and alcohol issues.

Social services have become aware of the relationship but they are both downplaying the situation, they've called her several times I’m not sure but I have a feeling she’s denied the relationship as they’ve then turned up at the house unannounced. She’s now clamed up and just told us they looked around and everything is fine and they’re happy.

I can’t see social services being happy with the situation what could the possible outcome be? I’m worried my niece will be taken into care I’ve tried talking to my sister and telling her to run for the hills but she’s head over heels with this man. Any advice would be really appreciated thank you.

I would be very worried for my sister, but absolutely for my niece.
Any chance you could offer to have her, if it comes to it.
Also, find out if you can do a Clare's Law check on him. Or try and get sister to. Perhaps if she sees his history formally she might see sense.
Honestly, I hate when women put a new man over their child.

I don’t think there is much you can do other than keeping an eye on things, does she has form for reckless behaviour. Strange the SS aren’t concerned

I would be contacting social services myself on behalf of my niece if you can do so anonymously

Claire’s Law firstly. She can’t argue with black and white if it’s there…

Agree with PP - that's precisely what Claire's law is for.

Time for some tough love I’m afraid. You need to ask her what the hell she thinks she’s doing and why she isn’t putting her daughter first. Even with the domestic abuse allegations aside, why is she moving in a man she barely knows.

You need to sternly remind her that she’s a parent first and foremost and that she is allowed a romantic life but any relationship should be kept separate from her home life for a long period of time whilst she gets to know the person and can see if they’d be a decent person to introduce to her daughter.

Such reckless behaviour from your DSister and I really feel for your DN.

I would ask for a disclosure under Clare’s Law and ask the Officers for advice.

I would also call the NSPCC and tell them what’s going on and ask for their advice as they can often be quite helpful.

Are you able to start having your DN more often too? It will hopefully get her away at least some of the time from the obvious danger she’s in but she may also start to tell you what’s going on at home.

FFS

I don’t mean to “victim blame” but Jesus. What the F is your sister thinking. How do these men seem to take priority over the children every. single. time?

Thank Christ your niece has you, though I know it’s hard for you to actually do anything about it. Clare’s law is a great place to start.

Me too
your sis can’t protect her kid -
so you can -
make the call
and keep calling

I'd be very concerned for your niece. Your sister sounds incompetent and I wouldn't give two shits about her after behaving so appallingly and putting her daughter at risk for a bit of dick.

I'd be calling social services.

Definitely do a claires law and speak to SS with what you know. Your loyalty lies with your niece caught up in all this

It’s definitely Clare’s Law. Named after Clare Wood who was murdered by her ex-boyfriend in 2009. The campaign was led by Michael Wood, her Father after Clare’s death.

All this.

As well as Clare's Law you could contact your DN school.

Agree about Claire's Law check. Sad to see yet another woman who will not see that no partner is better than a bad one.

Ask for a Sarah's Law disclosure while you are at it @booagan to make sure he isn't posing a direct risk to the child. Men who move in with women with young girls so quickly with drug and alcohol addictions are often more than domestic abusers.

That is a really good suggestion and unfortunately what you’ve said is all too true.